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SEC Media Days Transcripts: Best of Google Translate

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“Siri, translate Coachspeak for me”

LSU v Tennessee
Coach O said wHaT?!?
Photo by Michael Reaves/Getty Images

Good morning! Just climbing back into the Internet timidly, poking a toe in here and there, after several days off. So I decided to whip up one of our favorite concoctions: word blizzards. All you need are two simple ingredients:

Step 1: grab a random sentence from any coach.

Step 2: plug it into Translate, select a random language.

Step 3: do it again, back into English.

Step 4: garnish with a sprig of an absolute waste of time and watch the clicks ROLLLLL IN

Mark Stoops (Azerbaijani)

I think the experience that we have and the talent that we have is going to give us an opportunity to win each and every time we take the field, and that’s where I talk about embracing those expectations and enjoying that and being ready for the grind.

I believe that our experience and our talent will always give us an opportunity to earn a living, and I’m talking about the expectations, the pleasure and my ambition to dream.

Greg Sankey, SEC Commissioner (Belarusian)

That’s notable because if you went back 10 to 12 years when the APR metric was first launched, nearly that same number of teams were either below or far too close to the margin of being ineligible for NCAA post-season competition.

This is known because when you come back 10 to 12 years, if the metric was first launched in April, almost the same number of teams were either below or too close to the edge to be ineligible for NCAA post-season competition.

Ed Orgeron (Catalan)

And as we researched, Joe was exactly the type of quarterback that we felt that could come in and compete at LSU. So, those things were very important to us in the recruitment of Joe Burrow.

And as we investigated, Joe was exactly the type of field marshal who seemed to be able to enter and compete in LSU. Therefore, these things were very important to us in the recruitment of Joe Burrow.

Jimbo Fisher (Danish)

When you get to Texas A&M, when you see the academic success it has, the Aggie Network at the end, and the commitment from the university as far as facilities and the things in which we are, and then the success in which our staff has had at previous stops in which we see the vision of our program, and then playing in the best league in college football, it makes it very easy to recruit to.

When you come to Texas A & M when you see the academic success it has, Aggie Network at the end, and the commitment of the University in terms of facilities and the things we are in, and so the success our employees have had before stop where we see the vision of our program and then play the best league in college football making it very easy to recruit.

Kirby Smart (Estonian)

We’re are going to have some of the most epic battles we have for who is going to the right guard, who is going to be left guard, who is going to be the starting defensive tackle.

We have some of the most epic battles that we have, who are going to be the right guard who is going to leave the guard who will be starting with the defense equipment.

Steve Shaw, Director of Officials (Filipino)

Because what we’ve seen on touchback plays, plays that result in a touchback, there’s still blocking going on, but the injury rate on kickoffs comes down significantly.

Because of what we have seen in playback playback, performing resulting in a touchback, blocking is still going, but the kickoffs damage rate has dropped significantly.

Dan Mullen (Gujarati)

That’s one thing we can control every day, is the effort in which our guys go out and attack the weight training session, the effort they attack training table, how they eat, their health, the effort in which they put into their studies, the effort they put into preparation and the effort they put into playing at The Swamp and representing the Gator Nation everywhere.

It is one thing that we can control every day, it is the effort in which our guys go out and attack the weight training session, they attack the training table, how they eat, their health, which Efforts they put in their studies, they played at the swamp and they put in preparation and effort everywhere that represented the Gettar Nation.

Chad Morris (Hausa)

But I’ve been extremely impressed with Trumain Carroll, our strength coach, and his staff and what they’ve done in the 223 days that we have been there and transforming our players to where we are at this point this time today.

Duk da haka, Trumain Carroll, who has been working as a co-owner for two decades, has been working for 223 years because of which he has had a long way to go for a long time.

Matt Luke (Italian)

And now having a great summer, not only with strength and conditioning, but also I really see the culture of our team continue to build.

And now I am living a great summer, not only with strength and conditioning, but I really see the culture of our team continue to build.

Nick Saban (Japanese)

And with six new coaches this year, a new offensive coordinator, new defensive coordinator, new special teams coordinator, I am really pleased with the transition, how the players have sort of responded from relationship standpoint with all of those coaches, how those coaches have done a very good job of buying into the things that we want to do and how we want to do them.

This year six new coaches, a new offensive coordinator, a new defense coordinator, a new special team coordinator, I am truly satisfied with the transition. I did a very good job of buying how the players reacted from their position of relationship with those coaches, what we wanted to do and what we wanted to do.

Jeremy Pruitt (Kurdish)

When you talk about facilities, our facilities there, the plan that’s been in place, just in the last six months, we have added a practice facility, an extra practice field.

When you talk about your needs, there are our numbers, a plan that is at the same time, only in the last six months, a specialist mechanism, or other institutions.

Barry Odom (Luxembourgish)

I flew in with our players this morning, and just seeing what goes into put pulling one of these events off, it’s very impactful and respectful, because of all of the passion and fan base and fanfare that goes into our conference is unmatched.

I have flown with these players with our players and just watch what has happened to one of these events, it’s very impressive and respectful, since all the passion and fanfare and fanfare that goes to our conference is impossible.

Joe Moorhead (Maori)

We want to make sure we dominated situational football concentrating on explosive play margin and turnover margin.

We want to know that we are actively involved in the playground of the area on the board and the transfer.

Bill Hancock, CFB Playoff (Norwegian)

It was the most significant milestone in the history of college football, and it has been a very good game, good year, good four years, for this game that we love so much.

It was the most important milestone in the college history of the college, and it has been a very good game, good year, good four years, for this game we love so much.

Gus Malzahn (Pashto)

Offensively, the big thing that stands out to me is our quarterback’s back, and this is only the second time since I’ve been at Auburn in nine years that our quarterback’s back, so I think that’s a very positive.

In large, the big thing that is standing for me is our back, and it’s only the second time, because I was in Aberurn in nine years. After our quarter, I think it’s very positive.

Derek Mason (Russian)

Looking at where we are at running back depth, tight end depth and skill position depth, all of the way on the offensive side of the ball, I truly feel like this program has been in a place that it hasn’t been before in my tenure.

Looking at where we are at the depth of the depth, the dense depth of the end and the depth of the skill, all the way on the offensive side of the ball, I really feel that this program was in a place that was not previously in my possession.

Will Muschamp (Swahili)

Which, again, means an awful lot to me, the respect they have within our organization, two guys that have been outstanding leaders for us but also outstanding productive football players.

Which, again, means a lot of disgrace to me, the respect they have in our organization, the two young men who have been the best leaders for us but also the best soccer producers.