Texas A&M cancels entire fall semester to accommodate Thursday night football game in August

The Texas A&M Aggies begin their football season on Thursday, Aug. 30, when they take on the Northwestern State Demons, and while the weekday game is great for television exposure, it has caused a great deal of consternation about how traditional gameday festivities will intermingle with students trying to attend class. How will tailgaters park when lots are already full? What happens when students are late to class due to gameday traffic? Do you realize how long the line at Starbucks is going to be?

And after in-depth discussions with staff as well as student leadership, Texas A&M officials announced on Wednesday that all classes and student meetings have been canceled for the entirety of the fall semester in an abundance of caution.

“Academics will always come first at Texas A&M, and as we began to realize how much this football game on Aug. 30 would impact the academic schedule, shutting down for the semester just made the most sense. It was the only choice we had, really,” said Chet Norsworth, former SVP of Marketing Strategy at World Optimum Marketing Products Inc., and Texas A&M’s new Vice Provost of Student Services Branding. “Students will now have the ability to focus solely on football over the next few months, without the stressors of classes, tests and grades, and shift their priority to academics in the spring.”

With classes cancelled, all students will be required to purchase a sports pass, and attendance at all home football games is required. The Aggies’ new 60,000-seat student section will create one of the most intimidating atmospheres in college football, ensure a sellout for every game, and provide an additional revenue stream as the athletic depart struggles to stay afloat under the weight of Jimbo Fisher’s 10-year, $75 million guaranteed contract.

In addition, the university will realize significant savings by not heating and cooling non-essential buildings on campus, and withholding paychecks to professors until classes resume. When asked via text how this decision will impact the local economy, and whether that impact had been taken into consideration, A&M officials responded with this GIF:

“Some people will claim that this decision will become a national embarrassment for Texas A&M, but all I hear is that the entire nation is talking about Texas A&M,” said Plaque Czar John Sharp. “They say that football is often the front door of your university - all we’ve done is added a huge wrap-around porch, wisteria-covered gables and an oak-lined drive that stretches an entire semester. I couldn’t be prouder of Texas A&M and the ways we continue to be #FearlessOnEveryFront.”