MORNIN’. The offseason news sine wave has reached another of its more enjoyable summits: chatter on the renewal of the most storied college football rivalry in the Lone Star State is en vogue again this week. Leading the charge recently is the speculation that the Texas Motor Speedway in Fort Worth might be a suitable location. Hmm, okay. Because bringing back the raw emotional joy of the game for countless thousands of students, fans, players, alumni, and basically the entire college football world isn’t enough. No, we must wring as much revenue and marketability out of the spectacle as possible at the expense of tradition, history, and any last shred of aesthetic pleasure that can be taken from the game.
But if we’re going to do this, let’s do it big and make the Lone Star State proud.
1. PALO DURO CANYON STATE PARK, AMARILLO
Sure, the field may be a bit larger than regulation, but this is the wave of the future according to SB Nation’s own Jon Bois.
2. TYLER ROSE GARDEN
Talk about history! Before recruiting and the Internet came along, roses were the lifeblood of the East Texas economy. Each rose bush would be meticulously excavated and moved to Kyle Field for the week of the game and a playing surface put down. Don’t worry, all expenses would be covered by the demand for this game.
3. THE SURFACE OF THE USS LEXINGTON IN CORPUS CHRISTI BAY.
Hey, it’s been done in college basketball. Let’s stop lagging behind. If we can do it in the infield of a racetrack, we can do it anywhere. Troops. America. If you don’t like this, your values will be called into question loudly and repeatedly. Robert Earl Keen can play halftime.
4. TEXAS WORLD SPEEDWAY, COLLEGE STATION
If we’re gonna do this at a car track place, at least give us the home field advantage.
5. THE SUN BOWL, EL PASO
Y’all know this is the only real viable option if we do go down this route.
Any other venues? Let us have ‘em.