Just a quick round-the-horn from the Internets this morning, folks. Have a great week!
SOMETHING SOMETHING AND EAT IT TOO
Wedding season = cake season.
Bride gets LSU groom’s cake for husband, who is a Tigers fan. She went to A&M. Not only has Aggies fans in crowd, sneakily has Aggies beating Tigers 42-28 on the scoreboard pic.twitter.com/dBVRqVS63U— Darren Rovell (@darrenrovell) June 23, 2018
Look, that’s great and all. But perhaps there are some enhancements to be made on future pastry-based trolling?
- give it a real LSU score, like 13-9
- make it an obvious day game...somehow
- put a bland fast-food chain in the concourse
- soak the “stands” in bourbon: talkin’ sponge cake here
- make the tiger eye logo true to scale: have it stretch from the 5 yard-line to the 5 yard-line just like in real life
- and so forth, give us more ideas in the comments!
SEC LINEBACKER HAS THOUGHTS ON YOUR “CAMPS”
what do y’all teach kids at these camps?— Tyrel Dodson (@tdots25) June 24, 2018
This is absolutely ridiculous. Good luck teaching/doing this in the SEC https://t.co/azah3mAcPe
Hooooooo boy. This young man has developed an extremely efficient skill: how to instantly draw a 10-to-15-yard penalty and automatic first down for the other team. Trying to praise “physicality” in these 7-on-7 camps is like praising Darren Rovell for his selfless humanitarian works and insightful humor. They’re just different wheelhouses.
Other college linebackers chimed in.
everybody a superstar in shirts and shorts https://t.co/Gh1PzGjDNq— Willie Taylor III (@wassupwillie) June 24, 2018
Look, we’re not here to roast teens. The teens will always win in that arena. But maybe these reporters/newscasters/journalists, et. al. can tap the brakes on the constant feed of meaningless video clips of high schoolers doing “drills” and pretending it’s football-related. Personally, I think I’ll put a bit more stock in the opinion of an SEC linebacker who made 16 tackles against Bama than the online recruiting fanboys.
SPEAKING OF AWKWARD SEGUES AND FOOTBALL PERIPHERY
Bret Bielema sells his Arkansas home (pictured) earlier this month for $1.82M (paid $1.5M for the 6,300 sq ft residence in 2013); new Razorbacks coach Chad Morris recently paid $3.8M for a 7 bedroom, 11,600 sq ft house in the same neighborhood: https://t.co/bhbOOYxTLc pic.twitter.com/v0mK68KHof— RedditCFB (@RedditCFB) June 25, 2018
Wow. A couple mil gets you a lot of house in Fayetteville. 6,300 square feet works out to 217 square feet per each of BERT’s 29 victories at Arkansas. You start to realize just how precious wins can be in the SEC when you start doling them out in 14’x15’ crawlspace increments.
Have a fun week, folks.