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Daily Bull 6.25.18: Happy Monday

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Alabama v Texas A&M Photo by Bob Levey/Getty Images

Just a quick round-the-horn from the Internets this morning, folks. Have a great week!

SOMETHING SOMETHING AND EAT IT TOO

Wedding season = cake season.

Look, that’s great and all. But perhaps there are some enhancements to be made on future pastry-based trolling?

  • give it a real LSU score, like 13-9
  • make it an obvious day game...somehow
  • put a bland fast-food chain in the concourse
  • soak the “stands” in bourbon: talkin’ sponge cake here
  • make the tiger eye logo true to scale: have it stretch from the 5 yard-line to the 5 yard-line just like in real life
  • and so forth, give us more ideas in the comments!

SEC LINEBACKER HAS THOUGHTS ON YOUR “CAMPS”

Hooooooo boy. This young man has developed an extremely efficient skill: how to instantly draw a 10-to-15-yard penalty and automatic first down for the other team. Trying to praise “physicality” in these 7-on-7 camps is like praising Darren Rovell for his selfless humanitarian works and insightful humor. They’re just different wheelhouses.

Other college linebackers chimed in.

Look, we’re not here to roast teens. The teens will always win in that arena. But maybe these reporters/newscasters/journalists, et. al. can tap the brakes on the constant feed of meaningless video clips of high schoolers doing “drills” and pretending it’s football-related. Personally, I think I’ll put a bit more stock in the opinion of an SEC linebacker who made 16 tackles against Bama than the online recruiting fanboys.

SPEAKING OF AWKWARD SEGUES AND FOOTBALL PERIPHERY

Wow. A couple mil gets you a lot of house in Fayetteville. 6,300 square feet works out to 217 square feet per each of BERT’s 29 victories at Arkansas. You start to realize just how precious wins can be in the SEC when you start doling them out in 14’x15’ crawlspace increments.

Have a fun week, folks.