(College Station, TX)
The Internet’s latest meme-themed debate continues to rage on, and Texas A&M University wants to bottle this excitement and serve it up again during the festivities of opening football weekend.
Texas A&M’s marketing and branding gurus have been adamant about staying on the cutting edge of the modern social media landscape, so booking this act would be a feather in their collective cap indeed.
”I was told to ‘call Laurel and Yanny to see if they would be interested in playing a concert at the University if money were no object,’” said an intern for the Athletic Department, who wished to remain anonymous. “I tried to explain that I didn’t even know where to begin with this request, but was told there was no room for negative attitudes in Aggieland and sent on my way.”
”I found this guy Yanni who said he’d do it for $300 and a cheeseburger from Koppe Bridge, but I think it’s the wrong guy,” the intern added.
No University officials could be reached for comment at the time of press, although Chet Norsworth has promised to ping us back.
A Laurel & Yanny-headlined First Yell would bring a new infusion of young energy to the event, which has in the past leaned heavily on country music acts like Robert Earl Keen, Lyle Lovett, Gary P. Nunn, and Joe Ely after transitioning from a comedy headliner in previous years.
Although the intern reported little to no progress had been made thus far in “tracking down” Laurel & Yanny, the school administration remained hopeful and rather proud of their innovative decision.
”They are quite pleased with themselves,” added the world-weary unpaid student worker. “There’s even discussion of distributing #TeamLaurel and #TeamYanny wristbands for fans, students, and athletes in the months leading up to the event.”
When forced to admit the search for Laurel & Yanny had yielded nothing, the intern was reportedly told to “contact Former President George H. W. Bush” as he’d recently been treated to a special showing of the musical Hamilton, and would be bound to have connections that would know how to reach the elusive Internet duo.
The intern added that although no one really knew what Laurel & Yanny’s act was like, they couldn’t possibly carry a worse stigma than the 2008 First Yell headliner.
Although no official statement has been made by the University, Chancellor John Sharp did recently delete a tweet in which he expressed his pleasure with the booking of Laurel & Yanny, hoping they would be able to adapt their world-famous baseball routine for a football-themed event.
Sharp is expected to present Laurel & Yanny with a special plaque as soon as the booking is announced.