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Going back nearly a decade to our last matchup with this week’s opponent

NCAA Football: Alabama A&M at Alabama-Birmingham Marvin Gentry-USA TODAY Sports

It’s late September, 2009. The squad’s sitting at 2-0 on the young season under second-year nap-whisperer Mike Sherman following a rout of New Mexico and an uncomfortably close loss to Utah State. Don’t worry: no one saw either game. The offense has been slowly flexing its muscles under Jerrod Johnson, and some kid named Von Miller suddenly learned how to sack the quarterback. Here comes the University of Alabama-Birmingham for the final September game at Kyle Field before the team heads off to face Arkansas in Jerryworld in October. You can’t wait to see it! But you can’t, unless you have tickets. It’s not on television, you see.

Anyway, here’s the whole delightful box score in full detail.

Of note:

  • Johnson’s first passing TD of the night was to a man named DON BISHOP. There is literally no personal information on his roster bio page. Presumably he was one of the last remaining “tight ends” in the Texas A&M program before they completely disappeared over the ensuing decade. Don Bishop is your dad’s friend who used to let you finish the last couple swigs of beer from his can. Don Bishop has never been photographed without a mustache. Where have you gone, Don Bishop?
  • The Aggies’ leading receiver was Ryan Tannehill. This would be a common theme all season.
  • Joe Webb was a player. His 10-yard TD scramble in the third quarter cut the Aggie lead to 28-12 before Sherman accidentally dozed off and let his foot fall on the accelerator.
  • Look at true freshmen EZ, Swope, and Dustin Harris making contributions in the receiving and return games. Bulwarks of the 2012 team learning the ropes.
  • 14-17 on third downs? Near-perfect QB ratings? Check. Lose the turnover battle? Check. Allow 229 rushing yards to a C-USA team that finished 5-7? Check. Aggie Schizophrenia in full effect.

Here we are, nearly ten years later: one of us is a ranked team at the top of their division playing great football late in the season. The other one’s got the most expensive coach in football. At least we’ve got scoreboard.

A&M 56

UAB 19