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The Fan Misery Index - Week 11: Talkin Bout the Noles

this is all Jimbo’s fault also Jimbo please come back

NCAA Football: Independence Bowl-Southern Mississippi vs Florida State Nelson Chenault-USA TODAY Sports

Welcome back to the Fan Misery Index, where this week we are celebrating that Willie Taggart has at least defeated #FSUTwitter.

If you are unfamiliar with the rules of the FMI you can find them here and here.

The Florida State Seminoles arrived in the Ninth Circle with a thud of inevitability. Notre Dame dealt the Noles a third loss in a row with a 29 point smiting that had the touch of the grim reaper - not taking people from their loved ones but granting them the sweet release they so deeply needed. The Noles are in a better place now, and the rest of us are left to rifle through their pockets for gold ID bracelets while paying our respects and then hit on their widow while she drinks 4Loko.

Let’s take a look at the big board.


  • As you attempt to pilot the flatbed full of flaming radishes that is your fanship down the homestretch of this season, you may have missed a sign whizzing past you this weekend that read “WEEK 11: POINT OF NO RETURN”. That’s because most teams no longer have enough games left in the season to finish on a winning streak and a last jump upwards. Sorry Rutgers, that means if you want to finish outside of the Ninth Circle you’re going to need to beat... [checks schedule]... you know what we’ll just make up the guest bed you stay as long as you need.
  • I’d like to take a moment to recognize a few teams who have gone out of their way to embody what the FMI is all about. Virginia Tech, Iowa, Colorado, and Washington - all of these schools spent some time (in some cases just a couple of weeks ago!) in the First Circle, tasting what life is like as close to happiness as can be found. Now none of them is higher than the Fourth Circle and all are trending down because joy is an illusion and there is always next year until eventually there are no more years.
  • On the other hand, this season we are all Northwestern. We are all Washington State. And we are all Iowa State. We are especially Iowa State, and especially this week. Go birdies.