The Fan Misery Index does not recommend playing against nor rooting for the Purdue Boilermakers. On a long enough timeline this can lead to only sadness.
As usual, if you are unfamiliar with the rules of the FMI you can read them here.
Ohio State walked in to West Lafayette as the presumptive winner and probably the only challenger to Nick Saban’s professional football team. But in 2018 the Purdue Boilermakers defined every aspect of the game for the Ohio State Buckeyes. That is my favorite sentence I’ve written all year. Sad pizza gifs aside, the Buckeyes will probably not be featured players on the #FMI often so we will celebrate their double-drop today. May this loss prevent warmth in your heart as the cold slowly creeps across the midwest.
Let’s take a look at the big board:
MISERY OF NOTE
- Lo and behold, we talk about how Army is immovable like the very living earth and they go and complete a 3 game winning streak. The Black Knights are the last team to move from their initial Third Circle position but at least they did it in true form. Like a weimaraner being walked on a rainy day they refused to budge until the last possible moment and then squeezed one out in double OT before scurrying back inside. And of course, Army did it all without completing a single pass.
- We have a surprise second entrant in the Ninth Circle. While all eyes were on FMI darlings Arkansas and New Mexico State, Oregon State rounded out their five game losing streak with a 42 point sleepwalk to a California team that just got pantsed by UCLA last week. The Beavers have not been flashy this season. They got where they are through unsound fundamentals, lack of grit and determination, and being another terrible coach on the field. A real garbage pail, Jim rat kinda team.
- Regarding Nebraska: I made a decision prior to this weekend’s games to add an additional rule to address the Nebraska in the room. The suggestion was taken from last week’s comments:
Maybe losing 5 drops you a level, losing 6, on its own, does nothing, then every game 7+ drops you each game?
Hell, SMU went winless from my first year of law school until my third year. They would have reached like the 18th circle of hell.
I’ll say I’m sorry but I won’t take off the glasses.
The rule of 7+ game losing streaks is officially in effect. Ironically, the Huskers completely avoided this fate and actually turned things around, not only snapping their 6 game losing streak but beating Minnesota by 25 and actually gaining a level. Nevertheless, the rule was created with them in mind and shall henceforth be forever known as the Go Big Rule. So it is written, so let it be done.
- So who is the first victim of the Go Big Rule? I’ll give you a hint: their 7 game losing streak had no effect on their level of misery this week. The Scarlet Knights of Rutgers let this loss bead and roll right off their backs like the ugliest duckling.