WILD ASS SPECULATION

BY WES DAVIS

I think it’s safe to say that we got to watch 2.5 quarters of awesome football on Sunday, which is more than most gave us credit for going into this matchup. Plus, we covered the spread. That counts as a W, right? So we’re 1-0 going into the matchup vs. Nichols State this week, which I recently learned is in Louisiana. Huh. Neat.

What you really need after a Rose Bowl game where you publically mess the bed in front of the entire country is a home game vs. a cupcake. It helps get things back on track, ya know? You gotta remember how to play the football, Mond will get some great snaps vs. live competition, and who knows maybe the coaching staff can work on that ever so pesky end of game clock management shit that would have won the goddammed game last weekend. But seriously, I’m over it.

Yeah, we blew a 4 touchdown lead in the 4th quarter, but shit happens. This is football, you play 60 minutes not 30. Mistakes happen, and we should all be over it. I mean, who cares if the red flag was there at the beginning of the game, when a fumble recovered on the 3 resulted in a field goal because of two cute fades when your running game was firing on all cylinders? I mean, there were flashes of awesome in that game.

The offensive line was playing their asses off… so why wouldn’t we start throwing the ball when we should’ve run the clock out by maybe running the ball or just taking a knee during the entire 4th quarter? You gotta show off the playbook with a true freshman quarterback because everybody knows that an offensive coordinator’s job is to show how smart he can be when the defense knows the run is coming, right? That’s what you do. But I’m over it, y’all. It’s all good.

So we’ve got Nicholls State this week, but one more thing. You definitely have to abandon smashmouth defense with a lead. Prevent defense is the equivalent of teaching abstinence only sex education in high schools. It’s called “prevent,” duh. We already showed you that blitzes worked, what more did you need to see? A win? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I’m totally over it, though. 100%

Aggies 55
Colonels 14

CAST OF CHARACTERS

BY DR NORRIS CAMACHO

Look. It's not fair to lay the loss on this kid. Imagine your first college game EVER is at the Rose Bowl against a crowd that fired up. He's in sore need of a confidence boost, and OH GOD THROW IT AWAY MOND.

Welp, here is our defense for the season. He led the team in tackles on Sunday, forced another fumble, recovered one and returned it inside the 5, rushed the passer a little, and broke up a couple passes. Actually, has he ever played QB?

Whoooo, buddy. Are you in for a rough reception from this crowd. Will be interesting to see if the Yell Leaders are inspired enough to perform the new passback.

Here is his stat line against McNeese: 3 catches, 145 yards, 2 touchdowns. He's basically Cajun Josh Reynolds. Fortunately our cornerbacks had no problems covering the deep ball against UCLA. ಠ_ಠ

Okay so we're basically just going off the McNeese stat sheet here again but he had a pair of tackles and an interception he returned 67 yards for a TD.That's about how many passing yards A&M has on the year!

The Colonels blocked two kicks in the third quarter alone against McNeese (a punt and an extra point). Oh and they kicked a game-winning FG as time expired. If there is one front that A&M is poised to disappoint on, this is it. ಠ~ಠ

BUSINESS CLASS

BY DR NORRIS CAMACHO

First rule of Business: Have a Short Memory. Sure, we ran out of time v. UCLA, but think of all the buzz we generated with that performence! People were talking about Aggie Football at watercoolers coast to coast come Tuesday morning.

Unfortunately there's one key ingridient that's not quite right still. But that's okay! We're here to find a solution in a proffessional, business-oriented manner.

WHAT TO WATCH FOR

BY CHUCKGBH

BLUE MONDDAY

True freshman QB Kellen Mond will get the start on Saturday after Nick Starkel underwent ankle surgery on Monday. Defensive captain Donovon Wilson also had foot surgery Monday, but its fine because he wasn't missed at all. At this rate Texas A&M will be out of quarterbacks on the depth chart before conferance play starts, so guess who gets too start under center for the Arkansas game? Its you! Time to put youre money where that "ILL BE IN THE STANDS IF YOU NEED ME COACH" t-shirt is.

THE RUN GAME

I mean, yeah, watch for it. Best be quick before it disappears again.

UPSET ALERT

Does Nickolls State stand a chance of pulling off the upset over a realing Aggie squad this weekend? Absolutely, according to this one local beat writer in Thibodaux, LA. Then again, Nicoles State did beat McNeese State this weekend, and I haven't seen a Colonel lead that many cowboys to defeat since Little Bighorn.

HOTREELZ

BY CUPPYCUP

PLACE YOUR BETS

BY GBH STAFF