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Scattershooting Week 3: The Rise of Dan Mullen

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Rise of the B1G, SEC coaching, and a statue of Fran?

NCAA Football: Louisiana State at Mississippi State
DACOACHO HEAR BELLRINGAN
Matt Bush-USA TODAY Sports

Scattershooting while wondering whatever happened to Ray Goff...

  • Lets all prepare ourselves for The SabanTron3000 to be decommisioned from service after the 2019 season and Alabama to hire Dan Mullen. Its going to happen and its going to work perfectly because Roll Tide. The thought of Mullen working with top 4 and 5 star talent is a little terrifying.
  • Just a friendly reminder that Les Miles’ record at LSU was 114-34, and his worst season was 8-5. It takes a whole lot of coonass hubris to send a guy like Les Miles packing and replace him with an expired can of potted meat. LSU fans forgot what life was like before Saban and Les came to town. Success isn’t guaranteed for any program, despite what all of their faithful followers believe.
  • Maybe football programs should build statues of failed coaches to remind the fans how bad things can get. Fans could pelt the statues with rotten fruit before games to "bring good luck". I’d happily hurl a few spoiled cantaloupes at a statue of Fran if given the opportunity.
  • In case you haven’t figured it out yet, its probably time to stop bragging about how great and tough the SEC is compared to everyone else. It really is Alabama and then 13 other teams trying not to shit their pants each Saturday. The Florida-Tennessee game was a wonderful exhibition of two teams taking turns punching themselves in the nads. And if you loved that, be sure to tune in to the Ags and Pigs on Saturday morning for another hefty dose of two coaches trying not to fart, fumble, and fall down. "It just means more." It may mean more, but that doesnt mean its better.
  • As a fan of beer, bratwurst, and fullbacks, Im enjoying the hell out of the resurgence of the B1G Ten. They have vastly improved the head coaches in that conference in the last decade. Urbs and Harbaugh. Franklin at PSU. PJ Fleck is ROWING THE BOAT in Minnesota now. Dantonio has Sparty playing better ball this year. DJ Durkin kept Texas from being back. And even Purdue under Jeff Brohm is showing signs of life. And Paul Chryst has Wiscy looking frisky for 2017. I’m going to embrace B1G football this season and drink lots of dunkel, consume mass amounts of cheese products, and enjoy some entertaining football at 11:00 am in the Midwest.
  • Here’s what I’m excited about this week...a top 25 matchup in Stillwater with the Mullet Man prowling the sidelines; CLANGA between the hedges in Athens; a sneaky good late game with U-Dub at Colorado: and I’ll throw Penn State on upset alert for a wacky night game at Iowa.
  • Okay you’ve settled on the couch for the Arkansas game because screw this neutral site crap and putting money in Jerry Jones’ pocket. What is the perfect sandwich to enjoy at halftime? Let me know in the comments.