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Scattershooting Week 2: Casual Stoops, Flag-gate, and Pony Bets

Plant a flag, hire a DJ, and kick back with Retired Big Game Bob

NCAA Football: Oklahoma at Ohio State
Baker is lucky that Fayetteville cop doesnt play for the Buckeyes
Joe Maiorana-USA TODAY Sports

Scattershooting while wondering whatever happened to Reidel Anthony...

  • I don’t have a problem with Baker Mayfield waving the OU Flag and "planting it" into a turf field, whatever the hell that means. It will just make the inevitable OU loss that much more enjoyable this season. This is exaxtly the sort of stuff that makes college football fun. But lets not act like Baker isn’t "that guy" you hate to be around either. Baker Mayfield brags about dunking on eight foot goals. Baker is the guy that orders a Cuba Libre at the bar instead of a damn rum and coke. Baker loves to tell you how well his fantasy football team is doing. Baker is the dude that splits tens at the blackjack table and after both bets flame out, he tells everyone that it worked last time he was in Vegas. (Spoiler: it didn’t).
  • Staying on that OU game, you want to really feel shitty about the current state of Aggie football? The two year and five year average recruiting ranking for OU classes is 11 and 14. The same 2 and 5 year average ranking for A&M classes? 12 and 9. Talent isn't the problem around here. You gotta get them coached up once they’re on campus though. OU is getting it done with the same level of talent that A&M has. Pour yourself a drink.
  • So Kyle Field has a DJ now. This means someone decided the atmosphere at Kyle needed to be more like the stale NFL game where Hells Bells is rolled out on every third down. The next logical step is to ensure every section has a 330 pound fatass in a "game worn" #69 jersey, that yells "TACKLE!!" every defensive play and smells like pump cheese, Bud Light, and feet. The musical atmosphere at Kyle isn't the problem. You want to get the crowd hyped up and loud? How bout getting a stop on 3rd and 9 instead of blaring the latest mixtape from DJ Numbnuts. And if you’re gonna have a DJ at the stadium, can we at least make some requests? Ags have a 1st and goal and the first two plays are endzone fades that are thrown out of the back of the endzone. "Hey DJ, crank Nine Inch Nails Hurt please!"
  • And before you tell me I’m old and the students love it, let’s remember who pays the light bill around here. It’s not the people entering the stadium with a sports pass. I don’t need a glowstick rave to break out to make me feel good. A running game, a few three and outs on defense, and The Noble Men of Kyle will be enough to make my privates all tingly.
  • It was nice to see retired Bob Stoops at that Ohio State game. He was dressed like your mom’s new boyfriend that works at the Lexus dealership in The Woodlands. He looked like a guy that has been hammering Capt. Morgans and Dr Pepper at Baby Doll’s since happy hour. Retired Stoops can’t wait to buy a round of Corona’s at Chili’s on Cinco de Mayo.
  • Urban Meyer couldn’t score against a Mike Stoops defense with an offense loaded with 4 and 5 star talent. That’s a lot like going to a monkey whorehouse with a sack full of bananas and not getting laid.
  • Need to make a little extra cash this weekend? Take the Mustangs and the 18.5 vs TCU. For the Toads, this game is sandwiched between a road trip to Arkansas and a road trip to Okie State. For SMU, this is a chance for a major statement for Chad Morris’ team in a rivalry match that means way more to SMU than it does TCU right now. Classic trap game and I'll gladly grab all those points.