ROASTING THE TEXAS A&M ALTERNATE UNIFORMS

As you have no doubt seen by now, Adidas dropped their newest alternate Aggie thread designs today and they are something:

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Because this is August and we are on the Internet we were left with little choice but to do what?

Are we roasting these new uniforms?

Because these uniforms put bean sprouts on their hamburgers.

These uniforms can't wait for the pumpkin spice lattes at Starbucks.

These uniforms grew a mustache for their Tinder profile.

These uniforms think Drake is too ghetto.

These uniforms are rejected barbed wire tattoo designs

These uniforms are the result of Bear Bryant's hat having relations with Ned Flanders's Christmas sweater.

Magic Eye pattern on the shoulder-ass jerseys

These uniforms look like a white walker threw up on the Gap clearance section.

Steve Erkel on angel dust-ass patterns.

These were designed by a disgruntled GeoCities programmer on 22 Red Bulls after 60 hours without sleep.

Uniforms came here straight from the Napa Valley wine train.

These uniforms watch Home Improvement reruns.

These uniforms are a splayed houndstooth.

These uniforms should have been knitted for your Aunt Margie's pug.

We call this the "Geraldo Rivera Sweater Collection"

Folks, they say these uniforms are for the Bright Lights but they look like a Black Light DNA scavenger hunt.

The paper doll chain pattern was meant to intimidate.

The last time these uniforms saw the Bright Lights was on a rack at JC Penney in 1992.

These uniforms should have been sent to the West-Nosterfield Buckminster Quidditch Club.

Premier League scarf wearing-ass uniforms.

These uniforms scoff while drinking wine and say things like "oh, but you haven't LIVED until you've been to Napa."

Tied sweatshirt around the waist-ass uniforms

Connect Four ass uniforms

This jersey has the same print as a purse carrying Marlboro Menthols, checks that will bounce, and a spoiled lap dog.

John Sharp talking about the Longhorn rivalry game-ass uniform.

These uniforms come with an Alice in Wonderland LSD flashback

These jerseys are pre-run-over to save LSU running backs the effort