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The Daily Bull Talks About Lists

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most likely to who gives a damn

Myanmar Holds By-Election One Year After NLD Party Victory
Texas A&M fans frantically scour preseason “surprise teams” lists for any mention of the Aggies
Photo by Lauren DeCicca/Getty Images

GOOOOD MORNING GOOD BULLERS

North Carolina won the basketball championship last night and if you missed it, just watch the last few seconds recapped in GIF format in approximately .0001% of the time it takes to consume an entire basketball game. YWIA.

Now that’s one more notch mark on the prison wall of the offseason time spectrum. Major League Baseball started recently (we think) so once that season hits the 300 game mark or so it should be about time for college football. In the meantime, there’s plenty of constant demand for obsessive and meaningless content, such as this list, which should be called The Most Perennially Disappointing Teams In College Football (And Two Wildcats Teams) but instead is called College Football’s Final Four Dark Horses.

There are seven teams mentioned here. Guess which ones are usually overhyped? THE RESULTS WILL NOT SHOCK YOU AT ALL.

Couple things:

  • Northwestern is this year’s lucky winner in the “not having to play any of the elite B1G teams from that good division” lotto. Trendy pick.
  • Scoff at Kansas State all you want, but their non-con is Cental Arkansas, Charlotte, and Vandy. If anyone can run the rickety-ass Big 12 card table, it’s Snyder. Then K-Steak fans can just point at the Vandy win in December and scream “SEC” when the Commodores inevitably beat SEC East Champs Florida 6-3 despite going 4-8 on the year.
  • Columnists must be thanking Mark Richt for taking that Miami job so they can just go ahead and add two teams automatically every year: Georgia and wherever he’s coaching.
  • Auburn’s #1 on the list again. Haven’t seen a Gus get this much heat and blowback since the season 4 finale of Breaking Bad.
  • UCLA’s a generous pick here but if they can win their opener against an SEC team uuuggghhhbbrlll...[despairing gurgling continues indefinitely]
  • Let’s just examine this and remind ourselves it is practically a verbatim copy of things we read about Charlie Strong 3 years ago

There's no question that the Longhorns will be improved under Herman's watch. Texas has as much potential as any program in the nation. The only question is how quickly can he get it going in the right direction?

Who was left off the list? Texas A&M Football: disappointing constantly since 2013. Guess when you finish 8-5 every year it tends to temper expectations on either side. There’s something to be said for consistency, perhaps. We’ve got the ability to surprise teams again, if only because now they expect the inevitable collapse. If we could just extract and re-create that first half against Alabama and that second half against Arkansas, combine it into one full game’s effort, and duplicate it a half-dozen times a year, that’s a playoff recipe for the ages. Until then we’ll just keep gorging on nachos and acting like it’s caviar. BTHO Nicholls State.