NFL draftees enter pun-based endorsement market

The NFL Draft marks the official transition of hundreds of amateur students athletes into the realm of paid professional, and with that comes the chance to finally profit from the use of their name and likeness. As players look to take the first steps in establishing their brand, several looked to pun-based marketing to leverage their name recognition with that of the products they’re endorsing. Michigan’s Jake Butt and Western Kentucky’s Forrest Lamp were the first to jump into the market.

With the first three rounds of the draft now complete, several other athletes are jumping in and making money on some nomenclatural wordplay.

Myles Garrett

“You don’t become the #1 pick by eating poorly. That’s why I’m proud to endorse the Myles Carrot by Bolthouse Farms. Filled with beta carotene and other nutrients, Myles Carrots can help you on your path to becoming a 6’4”, 275-pound athletic freak.”

Mitch Trubisky

“When you’re drafted as the heir apparent to Jay Cutler, no cheap imitation liquor will do. So when I drink to forget, I turn to Jack Daniels’ Mitch Tru-whiskey. Unlike traditional whiskeys, it’s aged for only one season in North Carolina.”

Leonard Fournette

“When I’m not tossing Auburn defenders like ragdolls, I like to kick back and binge-watch my favorite shows. That’s right, even the most dedicated athlete has to take time to Fournetflix and chill.”

Patrick Mahomes

“Coming this fall to HGTV, NFL rookie quarterback Pat Mahomes takes us on a journey as he designs the many homes he can afford after becoming a Top 10 pick. But what happens when his Lubbock mansion is put in jeopardy after a routine dust storm/mud rain/flood? Tune in to ‘Building Mahomes,’ Sundays at noon on HGTV.”

Deshaun Watson

“Sure, virtually every cable, satellite or streaming service has it’s own DVR function, but TiVo is still around...apparently. And they’re excited to launch a new line of products behind pitch man Deshaun Watson. Look to be inundated by commercials this fall with the soon to be classic tagline, ‘Hey Deshaun, what’s on?”

Jonathan Allen

“Whether I’m tightening the bolts on our run defense or loosening the quarterback’s grip on the football, the right tools are essential. That’s why I’m a proud sponsor of Jonathan Allen wrenches, made by Craftsman, and available at Sears.”

Jabrill Peppers

“I proudly wore the maize and blue, and now I’m excited to bring you this a-maize-in new hot sauce from Tabasco. “Jabrill Pepper Sauce” is a mix of proprietary flavors that tastes surprisingly like regular Tabasco sauce. But it’s blue! GO BLUE!”

Taco Charlton

“When you’re drafted by Dallas and your name is Taco Charlton, there’s only one logical endorsement. SO COME ON DOWN TO CHARLTON MOTORS IN LEWISVILLE, JUST A FEW MILES NORTH OF DOWNTOWN DALLAS! We’ve got Camaros priced to sell, and if we can’t beat another dealer’s price, my name isn’t really Taco (hint: it isn’t).”

T.J. Watt

“Nothing gets me going like lighting up quarterbacks and electrifying the crowd. That’s why GE and I are a match made in heaven. Plus due to comparison’s to JJ growing up, my nickname to this day is ‘soft white’.”

Reuben Foster

“I thought I might be drafted in the top five but slid all the way until the end of the first round. I just lost millions of dollars. Eat at Arby’s.”

Justin Evans

“I’m leaving Texas for Tampa, and not as many people have boots in Tampa. So I’m looking to bring boots to Tampa. Also, I’m not sure if y’all are aware of this, but my first name is Justin, and the brand of the boots is Justin too. It’s crazy.”

Daeshon Hall

“When you’re used to Texas BBQ, you’re not going to stomach that stuff they serve in Charlotte without a little help. That’s why I always keep Halls cough drops handy. The cooling, soothing drops will cut through even the mustardiest of aftertastes. Remember, when the BBQ tastes like balls, turn to Halls.”

D’Onta Foreman

“I’m a bigger guy, so watching my diet is important. And when I need to drain the fat from my favorite cut of meat, the Foreman grill can’t be beat. Just like Kansas.”