Meanwhile, in Oxford...
ARE... YOU... READY?
HELL YEAH!... DAMN RIGHT!...
HOTTY TODDY, GOSH ALMIGHTY,
WHO THE HELL ARE WE? HEY!
NOUVEAU RICHE, BIM BANNED
OLE MISS IS DAMNED!
Where there was (bong) smoke, there was always a fire, and the chickens finally came home to roost for mega church pastor Hugh Freeze and his aw shucks Ole Miss Rebs. The university conceded to a bunch of allegations yesterday with the most damning being the scarlet letter of “lack of institutional control.” Ole Miss availed themselves to a one-year self-imposed bowl ban which is somewhat humorous coming off of a five win season.
/remembers where one of those five wins came from.
//becomes a grifter in Marfa
Anyway, this will wind up being expensive for Ole Miss since they’ll be forfeiting all SEC bowl money next year. Money that had likely already been earmarked for recruits. Time to roll out the Big Tent on the Grove and pass around another offering plate, Hugh. You’re not the first to sell the illusion of prosperity to the feeble and destitute. We commend you for being SEC Joel Osteen. Fire and brimstone is an afternoon at the Mannings compared to closing the season with biblical massacres at the hands of Vandy and the Egg Bowl.
OLE MISS VOWS TO DO BETTER AT CHEATING AFTER DISASTROUS 5-7 SEASON. Sports Pickle sometimes gets lost in the rapids of the truly awful, unrelenting #content waterfall of feces in 2017. Shame, really, because they turn out some gems as seen here.
A WORD, IF I MAY. I’m delighting in piling on Ole Miss today primarily because they’re smug entitled little turds. For now, they’re my Longhorns on the schedule. The cheating done by Ole Miss really isn’t a surprise for anyone who follows the SEC and knows the stakes and insanity of our fan bases. I implore you not to get on your high horse thinking A&M or any other Power 5 program is doing all of its business above board.
To be a passionate college football fan is to make peace with a handful of moral justifications. This truly is the Bible Belt sport. Cheating is just one big murky shade of gray and the program you love falls somewhere on the color wheel. Sure, there are degrees to cheating. Certain programs don’t really have to cheat blatantly right now (Alabama, LSU). Playing for Saban is it’s own reward (I guess?) and LSU gets to just throw a butterfly net over it’s state and keep who they want.
To whip up a nice recipe for cheatin’, take 3 parts chips on shoulder, 2 parts deep inferiority complex with hated rival, and 1 part blah overall program history. Whisk it all together into an Independence Bowl and it’s not difficult to recognize the programs that really need to cut corners to play with the aforementioned Alabama and LSU.
Talking tough is easy when it's other people's evil
And you're judging what they do or don't believe
It seems to me you'd have to have a hole you're own
To point a finger at somebody else's sheet
-Drive-By Truckers “Ghost to Most”
OPEN ENDED POLL QUESTSCH:
Our amigo, Keese, got me thinking about The Sandlot today.
I've always loved The Sandlot, but now as a parent of a little boy, there's so much more to love about it (especially Benny-Smalls).— Jeff Keese (@JKeester) February 23, 2017
Love that damn film. Which character in that movie does your own childhood most identify with?
Surprise, surprise - I identify with Ham Porter.
Safe to say there are no Benny The Jets or Wendy Peffercorns in our readership. Really good looking people don’t read blogs. They lay by exclusive pools on those tented beds at resorts and Miami clubs whilst eating sushi off each others’ navels.
It’s OK to be jealous. Happy Thursdae.