Championship Saturday: College Football Viewing Guide 12/2

Morning, all. It’s a bittersweet marker in the year: Christmas is around the corner, there’s cheer everywhere, but fall Saturdays full of college ball are about to be a thing of the past. There’s still bowl season and plenty of action, but they’re respectably spread out and not piled up in stacks and heaps of action for the greedy consumers (us).

Today is full of the good shit. The football, that thing that happens between coaching hires, recruiting, and pelting college football writers with rotting produce for being #WrongOnline. There are a slew of championship games and plenty more besides.

Whew. Pretty top-heavy, but that’s fine. Let’s sort through this pile of loot.

EARLY SHIFT

That AACCG should be a scorcher. Memphis and UCF are what G5 teams aspire to be: massively entertaining, dangerous to anyone in the country, and a sheer delight to watch. Look for 90+ points and 1300 yards of offense. Unless they somehow cancel each other out and play a 13-10 game. And if you’re a coachingrumorphile who loves the soap opera of the job cycles, these two YOUNG STUD COACHES trading body blows should toot your whistle. Great way to start the day either way.

The MAC and C-USA championships will be fun to check on, though it may feel insincere watching MAC football on a Saturday. At least it’s in the morning.

OU-TCU. Oh boy. Don’t we love repeat championship games? The B1G and the ACC are giving us the only non-retreads this year. The PAC-12, Big 12, and SEC title games are all recycled blowouts. Stanford lost to USC early in September by three scores, and guess what? They lost to them again last night. Out of Georgia and TCU, the Frogs may have the better shot at redemption today with Mayfield toting around plenty of distraction and peripheral bullshit.

Honorable mention? Florida State-ULM make-up. Not even on TV, really. But we know some Ags will eagerly tune in to hear/become angry over/gloat about whatever five minutes the ESPN3 D-team announcers use to talk about Jimbo Fisher in the doldrums of this snoozer.

AFTERNOON DELIGHT

Gary Danielson is at his best when he doesn’t give a damn. And calling an SECCG without Alabama in the mix is sheer agony for him. He’ll be floating about the booth like a discarded helium balloon spewing out sniping taeks as Ness’ dulcet tones describe the very powerful and non-Saban-fueled action. Auburn seems unstoppable at this point.

NIGHT SHIFT

Wisconsin-Ohio State: Exhibit 1A. Wisconsin’s that sensible classic Airstream RV, just cruising along all year without incident. Ohio State is the high-end, customized SUV conversion vehicle that speeds along in style but breaks down every few hundred miles. This should be the fun kind of boring B1G football.

Clemson-Miami: Exhibit 1B. Two frenzied football beasts that play all-out. They may have lost to Syracuse and Pitt, respectively, but they did it in style. There will be nothing left out on this field when the whistle blows, which is all we can ask for in a game like this.

Both of these games should be exciting matchups with major CFP implications. Good thing they’re on at the exact same time.

BONUS: Boise State-Fresno State. There’s no #Pac12AfterDark tonight, but the MWC title match should be a fine substitute. Fresno’s turnaround has been impressive, but the game’s on the blue turf. Tune in to Twitter to watch people get mad and confused about a playing surface that’s been blue since the Reagan administration.