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Scattershooting Week 9

The Heisman House, My Top 4, and Return of #MACtion

TCU v Iowa State
Love you Ames
Photo by David Purdy/Getty Images

Scattershooting while wondering whatever happened to Shaun Alexander...

- This edition of Scatter is being filed to you from the confines of my mountaineering tent high in the snow covered Andes. I've given up on Aggie football and am currently driving a herd of alpaca's from Chile into Argentina to sell them in the mercado. All was going well until I heard the faint sound of a cow bell ringing from the neck of my lead alpaca. My left eye began to twitch and I recalled all of the horror witnessed on Saturday night. My ranch partner Gustavo became worried and asked me if I was okay. "We lost a lot of good Aggies on twitter that night, Gustavo." He could tell it had been traumatic..."Over the Mississippi State game?" I looked squarely into his eyes..."No Gustavo, I don't think I'll ever get over the Mississippi State game. Those wounds run pretty deep."

- Is everyone still upset the Auburn game isn't in prime time? Or are we all just happy to be lost in the 11:00 am shuffle around the nation? I suspect there will be a whole lot of pre-noon drinking on Saturday for the Aggie faithful. So instead of Bloody Mary's, mimosa's, or milk punch, give this a try: Mix in a highball glass two oz's of Makers Mark, a couple of dashes of Angostura bitters, ice, and top with Ginger Ale. Very refreshing, but be careful. After a couple of these you may begin to move at the same pace as our offense.

- Starting tomorrow night we are blessed with Tuesday and Wednesday night #MACtion. This majestic football is reserved for the diehards and the degenerates. Betting dogs and overs. College football twitter becomes condensed down on a Tuesday night for a Central Michigan-Toledo matchup. The jokes and sarcasm are fine tuned and everyone is laser focused on the one and only game. We have college football from Tuesday through Saturday night. Soak it in while you can.

- This week everyone will debate the committee's first release of their projected rankings so I should probably give you mine. My top four in order: 1) Georgia 2) Iowa Steak 3) Ribeye Steak 4) Jim McElwain's Shark Sidepiece

- This week in Crappy MS Paint

- What a phenomenal scene in Ames, Iowa on Saturday afternoon. After the upset of TCU, the students and fans flooded the field and began singing "Sweet Caroline" in unison. Everyone was hugging, singing, and pumping their fist in the air. Players were leading the band. I honestly had chill bumps just from watching it on the TV. We here at GBH firmly believe in one thing: College Football is Fun. The scene in Ames on Saturday was a perfect example of it. E.T.R.

- Get rid of that pederast Larry Culpepper and double the number of Heisman House commercials please. I like to think it's a real house with all those guys living there on some random college campus. And maybe JFF stumbles in through the kitchen screen door around 4:00 am, eats up Tebow's leftovers in the fridge and passes out in the bathtub. How happy is Jason White when his agent calls about being in a Nissan commercial? Does he have to take vacation days from selling used cars in Henryetta? Does he miss happy hour at Applebee's? Also I wonder if Vince Young throws a fit at the Cheesecake Factory every time a Heisman House commercial comes on the TV.

- I love Mike Leach. I dig the Air Raid offense and find him extremely entertaining off the field as well. He is a genuinely interesting person and his pressers are legendary. And as much credit as I give him for his coaching acumen, I have to admit I was surprised when I looked at his records and realized that in 16 seasons, he's only finished with a double digit win total one time. And he's only finished the regular season with 9 wins once. The other three times he's coached to 9 win seasons, that 9th win came in the bowl game. So do I, and others, possibly over-rate Leach a little bit as a coach? Of course, you also have to take into account where he's coached for those 16 years. Neither Tech nor Wazzu are considered an upper tier program, and he's only had three seasons with sub .500 records. So do I under-rate him as a coach? Either way, he's great for the sport and keeps things entertaining. Swing your sword.

- Pac 12 late night overs. Thursday night home dogs. B1G unders. Saban to cover. For my fellow gamblers, what's your favorite college football bet to make?