Five General Patton Quotes About Texas A&M vs. Alabama You’ve Never Heard

We’re all familiar with the tried-and-true quote by the great American General about our beloved Aggies.

But who knew that he was also a rabid Aggie Football fan, and avidly follows their progress in the Southeastern Conference? Here are a few more of our favorite tidbits from the wise old warrior:

“I once witnessed Polish soldiers on horseback attempt to take on a German armored Panzer division. It was...well, words can’t describe the results. Anyway, I’m sure the Aggies will be fine against Alabama this week.”

You bet, General.

“Fool Nick Saban once, shame on you. Fool Nick Saban twice, and the tiny wiring inside his brainbox instantly combusts into a million microscopic fires that eventually consumes his entire being, resulting in a rampaging inferno-Saban lumbering around shooting fireballs from his eyes and taking prisoners for his Process Re-engineering Study.”

Wow! He sure did nail down the quirks of the Alabama coach.

“What’s the difference between a Gump and an Aggie? About a dozen championships and three rungs on the socioeconomic ladder.”

So true LOL good one.

“I met Bear Bryant once. He told me Junction was an accident. He got lost. Was trying to take the boys to Mexico for the weekend for a bit of R&R. I gave him a compass for Christmas that year after they went 1-9.”

There’s one the history books paint over!

“Give me a Board of Regents, and I’ll find you a new coach. Give me one Regent with a tank, and baby, I’ll fuck up your world.”

The man knew his business.

What’s your favorite Patton quote or misappropriation of a Patton quote? Here’s mine.