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Cowbell Lessons - A Next-Generation Analysis

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Using machine learning and big data analytics, we attempt to predict how this weeks match up against Mississippi St will unfold. 

NCAA Football: Texas A&M at Florida Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

Breaking Down the Offense

Watch out for the cowbell crossing route
@blumby09

CLANG CLANGA CLANG CLANG, CLANGA CLANGA CLANG CLANGA CLANG. CLANG CLANGA CLANGER CLANG CLANGACLANGACLANG, CLANGY CLANG CLANG CLANGA. CLANG, CLANGA CLANG, CLANGA CLANGER CLANG CLANG - CLANGALANGALANG.

CLANGALANGALANGY, CLANG CLANGA CLANG. CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA, CLANG CLANGALANG CLANGA CLANG CLANG. CLAGNA CLAGNA CLAGNA CLAGNA CLAGNA CLAGNA CLAGNA CLAGNA CLAGNAROONI CLAGNA CLAGNA CLAGNA CLAGNA CLAGNA CLAGNA CLANGALANGALANG?

Sizing Up the Defenses

Total Defense Stats

Team Total D Rank Games Plays Yards Yards/Play Off TDs Opp TDs YPG
Team Total D Rank Games Plays Yards Yards/Play Off TDs Opp TDs YPG
Mississippi St 8 7 400 1969 4.92 15 16 281.3
Texas A&M 57 7 475 2663 5.61 23 23 380.4

CLANGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA CLANG CLANGA CLANG CLANG, CLANG CLANGALANGA CLANG CLANGALAKA. CLANG CLANGA CLANG CLANGALANGALANGA CLANG CLANGA CLANG CLANGA CLANG CLANGA; CLANG CLANGA, CLANGA CLANG CLANG? CLANG CLANGA CLANG CLANG CLANGA CLANGACLANG, sigh, 3RD AND CLANGAS.

How about those uniforms, though?

CLANGA CLANG CLANG CLANGA CLANGALANG, CLANGA CLANG CLANGA CLANG CLANGA CLANGA. CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA - CLANG. CLANGA, CLANG CLANG.

Special Teams Efficiencies and Key Matchups

CLANGA CLANGA CLANG CLANGER CLANG. CLANG CLANGA CLANGA CLANG CLANGCLANGCLANGACLANG A CLANGA CLANG CLANGER CLANGYDOO. CLANGY CLANG CLANG CLANGA CLANG, CLANG CLANGA CLANG CLANGAGANG.

COWBELT CLANG CLANG CLANGA, CLANGA CLANGA CLANG. CLANG CLANGA CLANG CLANGA CLANGALANGA. CLANG CLANGA CLANG CLANG CLANG - seriously though, a belt?

Comparing Head Coaches

CLANG MULLEN, CLANGATOLOGIST? LORD CLANGU CLANG CLANGA CLANGALANG, CLANGA CLANGY CLANGAROO. CLANGA CLANG CLANG, CLANGYCLANG CLANGA CLANGALANG. CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANG, CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANG, CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANG CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANG, UT-CLANGALOOGA.

CLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANGA? CLANG CLANGA CLANG CLANGALANG CLANG. CLANG CLANGA CLANGA CLANG CLANG - CLANGIN SUMLIN ON THE CLANG SEAT? CLANG CLANGA CLANG CLANG CLANGAMETER.

Conclusion

CLANG CLANGA CLANGCLANG: CLANG CLANGA CLANGY CLANGACLANG. CLANGA CLANG CLANG CLANGA CLANG, CLANG CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANG. CLANGALANGACLANGCLANG. CLANGA CLANG, CLANGA CLANG...

In short, Dan Mullen: Welcome to the Resistance.

Poll

CLANGA CLANG CLANG, CLANGALANGA CLANG CLANG?

This poll is closed

  • 19%
    CLANGA
    (84 votes)
  • 47%
    CLANGA
    (200 votes)
  • 32%
    CLANGA
    (137 votes)
421 votes total Vote Now