Welcome to Friday. One would think that a BYE week following a road win in the Swamp would be tame and docile. NOT SO WITH AGS, COMPADRES. No sirree, we had to rip each other limb from limb on Twitter to make sure we still feel. Spoiler: we don’t.
It’s Friday though, fam, and there’s a blissful peace in the BYE. Many of you may eschew football all together this weekend. That’s because you’re healthy, balanced people with families and varied interests.
Count me among the degenerate football addicts who simply view a BYE week as an opportunity to watch games without the heightened risk of heart attack as a result of the Aggies and CORCH FIRST NOEL MAZZONE.
Here are the games to peep this weekend as you enjoy what is kind of starting to resemble not-summer in Texas:
Oklahoma State -7 at Texas | 11 AM | ABC
The Horns are playing a shit ton of early football this year. I know betting on a team you hate is no fun, but Tom Herman always always covers as a dog. If you want some spending money, bet the Horns. It’s win-win anyway because if you lose the bet, it means the Horns lost pretty bad at home.
Tennessee at Alabama -36 | 2:30 PM | CBS
The CBS games this year have been complete trash and I have to think it’s mostly because Verne isn’t there. This game is going to be ugly. Last time a Butch got exposed and stoned to death in Alabama was at a rural Southern Baptist Church this past Sunday. If you don’t think Tennessee will score (and I don’t), then that gigantic 36 point spread is a pretty easy hurdle for the Tide at home.
UCF -7.5 at Navy | 2:30 PM | CBSSN
This game is going to be sneaky good. Two teams with highly-refined rushing attacks and overall offenses getting after it in Annapolis. If you must bet this game (I won’t), I would not give the Middies more than a TD at home.
Michigan at Penn State -9.5 | 6:30 PM | ABC
Hell yes. I am no fan of Sandusky State, but Happy Valley at night in late October is bucket list stuff. Hating on the B1G is a fun meme in the south, but I promise you this - their football culture is fun as hell and their football weather kicks the shit out of ours. This game is going to be fun. I’m inclined to bet James Franklin.
USC at Notre Dame -3.5 | 6:30 PM | NBC
Y’all know I deeply love the Irish. And I’m telling you this - I LOATHE USC. Here’s a list of the schools I hate in no particular order - Texas, Colorado, Michigan, and USC. And I hate USC the very most. My god, these assholes. They make the smuggest Longhorn you know seem down to earth. IRISH BY TWO TDs!
Colorado at Washington State -10 | 9:45 PM | ESPN
After getting humiliated last week in Berkeley, you know Leach is going to have his Cougs focused. By this hour, you’ll be drunk and your loved ones will be ignoring you. Bet on Leach, pass out, and wake up Sunday morning on your couch with a little extra WAM* in your cargo shorts pocket.
*Walkin’ Around Money
Have a helluva BYE Week. We love you.