HAPPY FRIDAY. You made it through another week. Reward yourself with football. Here’s the conference slate.
BYU at Mississippi State
11 a.m. | SECNetwork
The Cougs are on a brutal five-game losing skid in which they’re averaging 10 points per game. They’ve only scored more than 20 points once this year. State is coming off a bye week after losing to top-ten teams Auburn and Georgia by a combined score of 80-13. Someone is going to find redemption in this game, but it probably won’t be you, viewer. Do not open this dark portal.
South Carolina at Tennessee
11 a.m. | ESPN
Butch. Boom. Boom. Butch. Now that introductions are over, we can see who will turn the most apoplectic shade of purple first. The only man who knows more than this pair about underperforming with an SEC East power is currently running a top-ten team down in Coral Gables. If Tennessee can’t win this, they’re rolling into Tuscaloosa next weekend a .500 team. South Carolina’s still got Georgia, Florida, and Clemson on the schedule, so they’ll take all the bowl eligibility help they can get, thank you, Butch.
Auburn at LSU
2:30 | CBS
There’s something about a day game at Tiger Stadium that is off-kilter and disappointing. Like seeing football through a weird monochrome lens in choppy slow-motion. Maybe that will make it easier for LSU to tackle Kerryon Johnson. Probably not. When you lose to Troy at home, your mystique for that season is completely gone. They deserve nothing but day games the rest of the year.
Vanderbilt at Ole Miss
2:30 | SECNetwork
It’s an Egg Bowl Twitter doubleheader on the Net tomorrow! Worth pointing out again that these teams lost to Alabama by a combined score of 125-3 in the past few weeks. People forget things in college football, which is why other people are always reminding them. Anyway, Vanderbilt allegedly has a good defense and Ole Miss allegedly has a good offense so maybe we’ll see some kind of football being played here. It might actually be more exciting than LSU-Auburn if we’re honest.
Texas A&M at Florida
6 p.m. | ESPN2
Arkansas at Alabama
6:15 p.m. | ESPN
Sometimes a Bielema team plays a brand of football that somehow slips through the cracks of Nick Saban’s monstrous defenses and causes the Tide fits with power running, solid, fundamental defense, and a little bit of luck. This ain’t one of those years.
Missouri at Georgia
6:30 p.m. | SECNetwork
You forgot about Missouri, didn’t you! Don’t feel bad, many have this year. And before you give your scathing Facebook-esque taek about reminding you why they’re in the SEC, we’ll go ahead and remind you they’ve won their division twice already, which is two more times than we have. Mizzou gets a nice late-October reprieve against Idaho and UConn, but it starts next week. This week they’re just another ritualistic sacrifice to the accidental football god Kirby Smart.