ALL CAPS PREVIEW-TEXAS A&M vs. AUBURN

PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE HUMOROUS NATURE OF TELCO’S GIF. LOOK AT THIS PICTURE. BURN IT INTO YOUR MEMORY. IS IT BURNED IN? IF NOT THEN BURN IT IN SOME MORE. DOESN’T MATTER THAT WE GOT REVENGE ON THEM THE NEXT YEAR. THE HORSECOLLAR IS YOUR WAR CRY. IT IS YOUR BATTLE FLAG.

NOW LOOK AT THIS

DO YOU REMEMBER THAT FROM LAST YEAR? THEY TRICKED US. THEY TRICKED US BY HIDING A GROWN ASS MAN BEHIND OTHER GROWN ASS MEN AND THEN THAT ONE GROWN ASS MAN RAN DOWN THE FIELD WHILE WE WERE TRYING TO FIND HIM. NOT ONLY IS THAT JUST RUDE BUT IT’S ALSO A LIE. AUBURN LIED TO US ON THAT PLAY. AND WE MUST HAVE REVENGE. GUS MALZAHN IS INVESTED (GET IT BECAUSE HE WEARS VESTS) IN LYING TO US. WE DONT TOLERATE LIARS HERE. AN AGGIE DOES NOT LIE CHEAT OR STEAL AND WHAT NOT.

WHILE WE’RE AT IT LET’S LOOK AT THIS PLAY TOO

AGAIN DONT PAY ANY ATTENTION TO TELCOS HUMOROUS INSERTIONS (LOL). FOCUS ON THE OVERALL INTENT. AUBURN IS TREATING US POORLY AND WE MUST RETURN THE FAVOR

GO AHEAD AND CLICK PLAY. I ADDED TUPAC’S HIT EM UP THIS WEEK AND IT’S A GOOD ONE.

THIS GAME IS DIFFERENT. ITS OUR FIRST SEC ROAD GAME OF THE YEAR. IM NOT AN EXPERT ON KEVIN SUMLIN’S RECORD BUT I DO KNOW WE’RE PRETTY GOOD AT MAKING OTHER PEOPLE’S HOMES OUR OWN. I HOPE OUR TEAM TAKES THEIR SHOES OFF AND DOESN’T HAVE SOCKS ON AND THEN WALKS ACROSS AUBURN’S CARPET AND JUST STINKS UP THE PLACE WITH NASTY FEET SMELL. I HOPE WE DON’T USE COASTERS AND LEAVE WATER RINGS ON THEIR FINE WOODEN FUTURE. I HOPE WE BURN THEIR HOUSE DOWN AFTER WE GET DONE EATING ALL OF THEIR FOOD. ALL THE THINGS TERRIBLE HOUSE GUESTS DO.

SO YOU. YOU NEED TO DO YOUR PART. IF YOU’RE NOT GOING TO THE GAME YOU’D BETTER DARN WELL BE IN FRONT OF YOUR TELEVISION SHOOTING HATE RAYS AT GUSTOPHER MALZAHN (THAT HAS TO BE WHAT IT’S SHORT FOR RIGHT). HOW DARE HE TRY AND TAKE THIS WIN FROM US. HOW DARE HE HAVE A DEFENSIVE LINEMAN NAMED CARL. HOW DARE HE HAVE A FANTASTIC FIRST YEAR AS A HEAD COACH THEN FAIL TO MEET FANS INFLATED EXPECTATIONS AFTER THAT.

I DONT LIKE YOU GUS. I DONT LIKE YOU AT ALL. AND THIS WEEKEND WE’RE GOING TO TREAT YOUR POORLY. ALSO I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT YOUR BAND, BUT WE’RE GOING TO PUNISH YOUR TEAM FOR YOUR BAND NOT BEING AS BADASS AS PVAMU WAS LAST WEEK.

WATCH THIS NOW

THE MUSIC IS A BIT SLOW BUT IF YOU LISTEN TO IT ENOUGH IT WILL ELEVATE YOUR PULSE RATE. SPEAKING OF SLOW MUSIC I’M GOING TO ADD IN THE AIR TONIGHT BY PHIL COLLINS TO THE PLAYLIST BECAUSE THAT DRUM PART IS BADASS AND IT’S A GOOD SONG.

LET’S DO THIS AGS. LET’S GET THIS THING DONE. LET’S TAKE BACK JORDAN HARE WHICH SOUNDS LIKE BUGS BUNNY IN SPACE JAM. LET’S START THIS DAMN SEC SEASON OFF RIGHT. DO YOUR PART. YELL YOUR ASS OFF. SCREAM AT THE TV. TELL YOUR CHILDREN TO SCREAM AT THE TV. MAKE LOUD NOISES. LET’S GET THIS W.

BTHOauburn