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Daily Bull 08.10.16 - More Like Ancient Geeks

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Swimming - Olympics: Day 4
He has lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll’s eyes...
Photo by Phil Walter/Getty Images

YES BUT WHAT ABOUT STYLE POINTS The folks over at TSK took a look at the SEC coaches and how they perform as favorites, underdogs, and tossups. Check out the charts - number three will give you scurvy!

I CAN’T STAY MAD AT YOU KLIFF even when you tramp around with other quarterbacks, you beautiful hussy. This has to be the first case ever of a school claiming to be QBU because of how good other schools’ quarterbacks are. Miss you, Tech.

BEYOND PUNTERDOME “Punter battle” is a real thing that has happened a non-zero number of times. The joke’s on anyone who challenges Drew Kaser, though; he may argue that punters are people too but that’s because his titanium shin plate doesn’t technically make him a cyborg.

Yet.

CAN’T YOU JUST LET GREECE HAVE THIS ONE THING Michael Phelps now has 21 gold medals. He also has effectively mastered Archimedes’ Principle to tie a 2,168 year old record held by Leonidas of Rhodes. He then held a gold medal aloft and claimed he can conceive of its goldness without invoking the idea of goldness in general and that Plato can suck it. Then he smoked a bunch of pot.

IT’S WEDNESDAY

You got this.