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Telling graduates of Texas A&M that they are not "True Aggies"
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Insisting that ESPN - an entity that contributes millions to A&M’s bottom line annually - is conspiring against A&M because it’s run by Longhorns
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Bemoaning the tragedy that there isn’t a true southern Trump
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Paying $12.99 per month for information that is free at best and comically wrong at worst
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Paying $25.00 per month to interact with the only other humans on earth that find them tolerable
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Firings: everyone should be fired
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Starting digital witch hunts to ruin the lives of strangers who dare not join Aggy groupthink
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Only having three emotions - insecurity, indignation, and ludicrous entitlement
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Telling everyone how much they don’t care about t.u. anymore. Every hour of every day.
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Making up General Patton quotes
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Finding life’s purpose and meaning in helping A&M win meaningless, rigged internet polls.
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Bragging about winning said polls ad nauseum on social media
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Aggieland Outfitters meme shirts
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Business casual: A&M Columbia fishing shirt.
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Formal attire: A&M OFFICIAL coaches’ shirt
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Casual attire: 1998 Big 12 Champs T-shirt and Jorts
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Having class
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Advertising said class
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Pointing out classless behavior both in and outside of the Aggie Community
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Giving Twitter Ted Talks on Class
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Getting in fights with national sportswriters on Twitter who "have it out" for A&M
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Anchorman quotes
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Judging people's’ beer choice
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"Thanks and gig ‘em" after making a ridiculous claim
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Telling you the starting salary of Aggie engineers
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Game of Thrones memes
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Clay Travis
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Being from Plano and defending Dallas
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Being from Cypress and defending Houston
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Mansplaining
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Pretending to know a "Big Money Ag"
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Old Army, whatever the fuck that means to any specific class year
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Blaming the Cleveland Browns for all of Manziel’s problems
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Claiming Drake as their "black friend"
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Talking at high school athletes on Twitter
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Anything Benjamin Knox does
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Completing the new Aggie Moms painting to be unveiled next Friday at 5:30 at the federatio… https://t.co/slQnbiN84T pic.twitter.com/67CPhjcEN5
— Benjamin Knox '90 (@BenjaminKnox) April 1, 2016 -
Waiting in line for food from Olive Garden or Cheddar’s
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Fights in the comments of Facebook
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Tom Berenger as Paul "Bear" Bryant
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A Twitter bio that includes: a bible verse. A photo of a gun over a field of blue bonnets.
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(other things for that profile include husband/wife, Christ-follower, Mother/father, sinner, republican, and anything anti-Obama)
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Northgate (Dixie Chicken only)
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Being victims
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Biblical quotations that justify their hatred for a school in Austin
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Gay jokes
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Pretending to listen to Lyle Lovett
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Saying that the Pizza guy "went to Tech"
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Saying that their Mechanic "went to Tech"
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Saying that their housekeeper "went to Tech"
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Jaxon Appel
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Getting remarkably offended in a blindingly obvious hypocritical manner
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One sentence paragraphs, like this one.
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#WellActually'ing respected college football journalists despite never watching any team other than the Aggies.
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Abusing government resources for unnecessary FOIA requests
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Knowing how to gather the funds and execute an easy $20 million coaching buyout
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Knowing how to replace the fired coach with Urban Meyer immediately
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Cargo shorts
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Ted Cruz’s social skills
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Telling you your favorite BBQ spot sucks
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Call of Duty headsets
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Telling you they got into an Ivy League school but chose A&M
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Laughing at the A&M Chancellor’s jokes about the University of Texas
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Having staunch opinions on cheerleaders
- Themselves