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We’re less than three weeks away from the world famous Texas Bowl tilting your Texas Aggies against the Kansas State Bill Snyders.
I know. It’s underwhelming. This is akin to getting a very lamentable Christmas gift. You know the ones - socks, books, sweaters - NERD shit. They’re the gifts that upon opening, you announce to those around you what it is you’ve received:
“Oh. The 5th edition of Blogging for Dummies. Thanks, Uncle Dick.” As Jerry Seinfeld astutely observed, if you’re announcing the name of the gift, it’s a bad gift.
“Oh. Texas Bowl. With Kansas State trimmings. Well that’ll look good on this mantle.”
[Texas Bowl dies in a Goodwill bin because the hobos won’t touch it]
It’s underwhelming because of where we were six short weeks ago. It’s underwhelming because it’s Houston - a city you either live in or have sweated in enough to know better. It’s underwhelming because K-State is the exact team that gives this A&M team fits. If A&M is the slick, uninsured Ferrari with no seat belts and a shoddy crash rating... well K-State is the diesel fuel you put in the unleaded engine on accident. K-State plays disciplined, ball-control football. K-State has the ability to put together nine minute drives culminating in field goals with a final score of 12-9. HAPPY HOLIDAYS.
But you what? Screw all that. This is our last taste of football for awhile. I’m going to relish the banality of this. Let’s set some realistic expectations for Aggie football in this bowl:
- Run the damn ball
- Don’t you dare call a bubble screen on 3rd and 6. I’d say “don’t call ANY bubble screens”, but I know you like watching me suffer
- Act like you want it on 3rd and short
- That slow, white quarterback that is a few months from being a church league basketballer? Tackle him.
- Give a damn in the trenches
- Have fun. Because football is fun.
Take care of some of those things and the Ags can be TEXAS BOWL CHAMPIONS. Our wildest dreams will have come true.
MISC.
Aggie hoops beat Denver handily at home last night. They continue to put together a nice, sleepy non-conference showing before we all realize in February that the season has started.
As far as some journos are concerned, Myles Garrett is still weighing his options for 2017. 1) He’s gone. 2) He should absolutely be gone. It’s frustrating that he was hampered by that high ankle sprain. It kept him from having a banner year to wrap things up. It also kept him from staying in game shape. Gig ‘em, Myles. Hopefully history forgets that your college career culminated with a trip to Houston.
It’s the most wonderful time of the year. I absolutely adore Drew Magary’s annual take down of the Williams-Sonoma catalog. As a self-loathing, privileged white person, I really hate my own types... the exact people that blow through their endless disposable income (NOTE: not me) at kitschy milquetoast money pits like Williams-Sonoma.
Gig ‘em and Happy Festivus.