ALL CAPS PREVIEW-OLE MISS

IT’S BEEN A WEIRD WEEK MAN. AND WEIRD WEEKS CAN ONLY BE SOLVED THROUGH UNINFORMED UNENDING HYPE ABOUT A FOOTBALL GAME. AND WE’VE GOT A BIG ONE COMING UP THIS WEEKEND.

CLICK PLAY

LET’S TALK ABOUT YOUNG JAKE HUBENAK, AKA HEISMENAK, AKA HUBAENAK, AKA HUBIE FOR QB. LET’S TALK ABOUT HIS LOVE FOR TEXAS A&M

THE KID HAS BLED MAROON SINCE DAY ONE AND NOW HE’S ABOUT TO START HIS FIRST GAME AT KYLE FIELD AS A FIGHTIN TEXAS AGGIE ON NATIONAL TV AGAINST AN SEC WEST FOE. IF YOU HAVE A BETTER STORY THAN THAT I’D LIKE TO HEAR IT. NO REALLY I WOULD BECAUSE IT’S BEEN A WEIRD WEEK. JAKE THE SNAKE IS A GD FIGHTIN TEXAS AGGIE HERO AND HIS LEGEND BEGINS THIS SATURDAY.

LET’S TALK ABOUT TRILLVOR KNIGHTBALL. THE HANDSOMEFACE MAN WHO PUT THIS TEAM ON HIS BACK AND UNITED US WHEN TWO PIPSQUEAK QBS HAD DIVIDED US. HE MAY NOT HAVE BEEN BORN AN AG BUT HE GOT HERE AS QUICK AS HE COULD AND HE GOT US TO THIS POINT....7-2 AND PRIMED FOR A QUALITY SEASON.

DONT CARE WHAT HAPPENED LAST WEEKEND. ONLY CARE WHAT’S GONNA HAPPEN THIS WEEKEND WHEN JAKE, TRILLVEON, KEITH FORD TOUGH, AND THE REST OF YOUR FIGHTIN TEXAS AGGIE OFFENSE RUN THOSE DAMN BLACK BEARS OF OLE MISS (WHAT) OVER.

AND LET’S TALK A LITTLE ABOUT OUR DEFENSE. DONT CARE WHAT HAPPENED LAST WEEKEND. YOU DONT THINK ARMANI WATTS ISNT PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW AND WANTING TO PUT ON A DAMN SHOW? YOU DONT THINK THAT KINGSLEY KEKE ISNT READY TO EAT AN OFFENSIVE LINEMAN WHOLE? YOU DONT THINK CLAUDE SLEDGEHAMMER GEORGE ISNT READY TO HIT SOMEONE IN THE GD MOUTH DURING A NIGHT GAME AT KYLE MFING FIELD THE HATE BARN? OH NO. THEY READY. IT’S ON TILL THE BREAK OF DAWN LIKE JOHNNY RIDING ON A SWAN......FLOAT.

FOOTBALL IS FUN. FOOTBALL IS VIOLENT AND FUN. FOOTBALL IS FUN WHEN YOU’RE BEATING THE HELL OUT OF THE PEOPLE YOU LINE UP AGAINST AND THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT WE’RE GONNA DO TO EM AGS. WE’RE GONNA LINE UP AND HIT SOMEONE IN THE GD MOUTH THIS WEEKEND BECAUSE IT FEELS GOOD AND IT NEEDS TO BE DONE

SO FORGET WHAT DIVIDES US. WHAT UNITES US IS THE FACT THAT ALL OF US WILL BE IN KYLE FIELD THIS SATURDAY NIGHT YELLING OUR ASSES OFF AS WE ROOT FOR OUR MFING TEAM TO GET A WIN ON THE FIELD. WHAT UNITES US IS THAT WE WILL LINK ARMS WITH TOTAL STRANGERS AND SING THE WAR HYMN. WHAT UNITES US IS A SINGULAR UNEXPLAINABLE OBSESSION WITH A SILLY GAME THAT CONSUMES OUR HOUR BY HOUR THOUGHT. THIS GAME IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING GOING ON THIS WEEKEND AND I EXPECT...NAY I DEMAND THAT YOU GIVE IT THE ATTENTION IT DESERVES.

LET’S GET THIS DONE FOLKS. LET’S MAKE KYLE FIELD LOUD. LET’S MAKE IT INTIMIDATING. LET’S CHANNEL ALL THE ANGST ABOUT THE SEASON AND ALL OF EVERYTHING WITHIN YOU AND YELL OUR TEAM ON TO A GD MFING VICTORY.

GET YOUR MIND RIGHT YALL. GET YOUR MIND RIGHT RIGHT NOW. IT’S FOOTBALL TIME IN COLLEGE STATION TEXAS AND IT DOESNT GET ANY BETTER THAN WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN THIS SATURDAY NIGHT.

BEAT

THE

EVERLIVING

EVERLOVING

COMPOUND

COMPLEX

FIGHTIN

TEXAS

AGGIE

HELL

OUTTA

ole miss