Sorry we missed last week. We’re making it up to you today with plenty of original artwork. Happy Halloween, monsters.
Miami at Notre Dame
2:30 p.m. | nbc
#8 BAYLOR AT TEXAS
2:30PM | abc
In the last few years in the college football world the term schadenfreude has become as ubiquitous as the word ubiquitous. Finding pleasure in the suffering of others is at best a base emotion, an artifact of the lizard brain which tells us from an evolutionary standpoint that we stand a better chance of passing on our genetic material if the competition were to be violently eaten while we escape. It is a feeling beneath the fully evolved, intellectually advanced, and emotionally developed human.
It is also delightful and I engage in it lustily. When a team I dislike suffers stomach hollowing sadness, I stick my nose right into the stench of their misery and breathe deeply with both nostrils like a dog who has found another dog's steaming fresh pile.
This game is that fresh pile, one guaranteed to result in unknowable sadness for someone. The best case scenario for the Big XII is that Baylor wins and the conference can cling desperately to their lone unbeaten team for at least another week (the win won't help their strength of schedule, though). As an added bonus the Longhorn depression spiral will complete another circuit as they dial up Tom Herman and engage very literally in the Bargaining stage of grief. Alternatively the Horns win, proving to the world that BAYLOR AIN'T PLAYED NOBODY PAWWWL and nearly guaranteeing that the Big XII is left out of the playoff picture yet again (Power 4 conferences, imho).
It's the old Aggie win-win.
#7 GRITBRASKA AT #11 GRITSCONSIN
6 p.m. | ESPN
Arizona State at Oregon
4:00 pm CST | Pac-12 Network
It's a long flight up to Eugene, Oregon. Leaves the coaches and players with too much time to let their minds wander. ASU head coach Todd Graham tried to focus on the game plan. "Blitz on defense and we've got to put up seven when we get inside the red zone." This was a bad Oregon team and he knew he needed to come away with a win. He needed to focus, but his mind kept taking him somewhere else. He always dreamed of being the star of the show. The fans screaming out in the audience. He could be the sex symbol of the world. He could hear the pulse of the music. He closed his eyes. He could hear them chanting his name..."BRIT-NEY!! BRIT-NEY!! BRIT-NEY!!" He quietly sang to himself..."College football, I'm a slave for you."