ALL CAPS PREVIEW-ALABAMA

YOU SEE TREVOR DOING THE DOUBLE GIGS? THAT’S WHERE YOUR MIND SHOULD BE RIGHT NOW.

I SHOULDNT HAVE TO EVEN WRITE THIS DADGUM ARTICLE. IF YOUR PISS ISN’T LAVA RIGHT NOW, IF YOUR HEART RATE ISN’T ELEVATED, IF YOUR EYES AREN’T TWITCHING A LITTLE BIT RIGHT BEFORE THE MOTHERFATHER BAMA GAME THEN YOU MIGHT BE DEAD.

BAMAGAMEBAMAGAMEBAMAGAMEBAMGAMEBAMAGAMEBAMAGAMEBAMAGAMEBAMAGAME

THOSE WORDS ALONE SHOULD PUT YOU INTO A FROTHY FURY WHERE YOU WANT TO RIP OFF YOUR SHIRT AND POUND ON YOUR CHEST WHILE SINGING A MADE UP DITTY ABOUT HOW ZAYCOVEN HENDERSON LIKES TO RUN PEOPLE THE F OVER.

IT’S THE GD BAMA GAME. WE’RE 6-0. THEY’VE WON A FEW GAMES TOO. WE’RE BOTH TOP 10 TEAMS. IM OUT OF MY DAMN MIND RIGHT NOW WHICH IS WHY I ADDED OUTTA YOUR MIND TO THE PLAYLIST . CLOSE YOUR OFFICE DOOR AND TURN TF UP.

I ALSO ADDED A WONDERFUL MELODY CALLED LONG LIVE THE CHIEF BY JIDENNA. THAT NEEDS NO EXPLANATION BECAUSE WE’VE GOT A CHIEF AND I WANT HIM TO LIVE FOREVER SO THAT HE MAY WREAK HAVOC ON EVERYTHING CRIMSON RELATED.

IF YOU’RE THE TYPE OF PERSON WHO’S JUST LIKE oh i just want to keep it close OR oh man they’re biiig favorites im really worried GO TO YOUR BATHROOM LOOK YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR AND ASK YOURSELF WHEN YOU BECAME SO WEAK. ASK YOURSELF IF CLAUDE GEORGE IS FIRED UP FOR THIS GAME AND IF HE FEELS ANGRY.

YOU TELL ME IF ARMANI WATTS AND JUSTIN EVANS ARE SITTING IN THEIR HYPERBARIC CHAMBERS EATING RAW MEAT AND JUST THINKING TO THEMSELVES oh man let’s just go have fun it’s a fun sport MAN HELL NO THEY’RE ALL LIKE IM GOING TO TEAR SOMEONE TO PIECES USING MY FEET BECAUSE IT’S MORE OF A CHALLENGE THAN THEIR HANDS.

DINO GARRETT HAS A DAMN LEG BRUISE AND HE’S ALREADY JUST PROBABLY IN HIS HOUSE PUTTING TOGETHER THE MOST BEAUTIFUL ARIA AT HIS GRAND PIANO BUT THE ARIA IS REALLY ABOUT A VELOCIRAPTOR RIPPING NICK SABAN TO SHREDS.

TRILLVEON TRILLIAMS (TM) HAS CHOPPED HIS FEET SO MUCH IN HIS APARTMENT IN ANTICIPATION OF THIS GAME THAT THE PEOPLE BELOW HIM NOW HAVE A LOVELY SKYLIGHT TO LOOK DIRECTLY INTO HIS HOUSE...AND THEY’RE TOTALLY FINE WITH THAT.

SO IF YOU ARE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO DOESNT THINK A&M CAN WIN THIS GAME I WILL PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH

WE

GON

WIN

THIS IS OUR DAMN GAME. THIS IS OUR SEASON. THIS IS OUR YEAR AND OUR TEAM. THIS IS OUR TREVOR NO ONE ELSES.

HEY QBS WE’RE 19 POINT DOGS

QBS: YEAH I HEARD

YOU EXCITED ABOUT THIS GAME? YOU GUYS STILL HAPPY?

QBS:

LET’S GET OUR MIND RIGHT WITH SOME HYPE VIDEO STARTING WITH BOY GENIUS COLD CHEDDA

AND THEN THIS ONE

AND THEN CUPPY DID A THING AND IT’S A REALLY GOOD THING OMG

AND THEN HOLY CRAP DID YOU SEE WHAT AGGIEFBLIFE HAD TO SAY

THIS IS OUR GAME. WE ARE IN THIS. WE ARE TRIED TESTED AND BATTLE READY. WE ARE GOING TO GO TUSCALOOSA AND DO THE DAMN THING.

OUR GAME

OUR TIME

OUR YEAR

GET YOUR MIND RIGHT. GET YOUR MIND RIGHT. GET YOUR MIND RIGHT

LET’S GO

BEAT

THE

HELL

OUTTA

alabama