"They're T-Stars for your feet" - @jimmygards
IS THAT WEENIE KOSHER. Time was, being obese was a LUXURY. Torso opulence correlated directly with a man's wealth. The portly were to be ADMIRED for that stature in the community and the resources they had amassed to eat an entire yak basted in the fat of a baby calf. Now we live in a husky meritocracy. Being wildly unhealthy is a privilege afforded to any American. Let freedom ring onions. One would think the palatial architecture and structural engineering of the new Hate Barn would have been all the buzz yesterday as journos toured the new digs. The lead chef knew better of his audience, of course, remembering that journos absolutely love artery clogging processed rubbish. He curried good favor by whipping out his 12 pound wiener for all to behold. Sometimes I side with the world in their hatred for America's extravagance, but first, pass that dog over here pronto.
THIS IS THE CLOSEST YOU'LL GET, POORS. When the aforementioned journos weren't treating the tour of Kyle Field like a buffet on a Carnival Cruise, they managed to take some photos of the actual stadium. Featured are all the west wings, queens' quarters, masters' lairs, etc. No surprise, Texans with money aren't known for being tasteful or understated. Farmers fight? Friendly reminder - not weird at all that old rich people pay millions to sit in luxury crows' nests watching unpaid entertainers. Look, I know I sound jaded. To be clear, I will totally kiss the ass of anyone who has access to these digs so I can wear a monocle and spread the GBH brand.
EVERYDAY I'M HUSTLIN. If you ever need a reminder that football is - in fact - fun, chat up a die hard fan of a MAC or Sun Belt school. It's refreshing as hell. I'm a fan of SB Nation's MAC site Hustle Belt. Good dudes. They take a look at the match up between the Balls and the Hump Its.
PRAYERS AND REMEMBRANCE. When you're irate tomorrow that the Ags have to kick a field goal instead of punching it in, try to keep some perspective. Prayers today for my favorite city in the world, the Pentagon folks, and rural Pennsylvania.
Gig 'em. Have a great weekend, gang. Beat the hell outta Ball State.