I never thought I’d see the day where my knowledge of Big Brother and of Texas A&M would prove to be useful. With our very own Clay Honeycutt joining this upcoming season on June 24th, I’m providing primer for the show.

Basic Rules

A group of people (mostly good looking and white) enter a house day 1, and 3 months later, one of them leaves the house with $500,000. Generally, there are 3 hour-long shows per week—one centered on the head of household (HOH) & nominations, one on the veto, and one on the final vote which is usually live. Throughout the process, houseguests are evicted by other houseguest by a group vote. Each week, there are competitions to determine who has the power to nominate people for eviction (HOH), the right to veto a nomination, and various luxury/food items.

None of this is very important, as it is one of the most heavily producer-induced/rigged reality competitions out there. Rules will change on a whim depending on what the producers feel will be most entertaining. The underdog will be given a magical power based on "America’s Vote," the loud pot-stirrer who happens to be police officer will be in a shooting competition, and the fan favorite who was evicted will be miraculously brought back. There are also subtler tricks. In the diary sessions, producers will ask questions like "Don’t you think (alliance-mate) has been acting really shady recently?" and "Don’t you think it would be fun if (underdog) was kept in the house?"

Live Feeds

What Big Brother offers that no other reality show does, is live feeds. For $5.99 a month, you can watch feeds from the many cameras in the house and check out what the houseguests are up to. There are also many sites that will give minute-by-minute updates if you are cheap, or you know, have a life (such as Jokers Updates).

As an Aggie who worries about our perception across the nation, should I be worried?

YES! Did you not see the part about the live 24/7 feeds? There aren’t any cameramen in the house, so it’s easy to forget you are on TV. They also do not have TV, internet, or books. They’ll occasionally be given booze, but that’s based on behavior and need of ratings. When you are bored and don’t have access to entertainment, you shoot the shit with those around you. When you shoot the shit with those around you, it’s hard to keep UAE at all times. You may stay stupid/racist/homophobic/whatever things. This happens all the time. Someone catches this on the live feeds, uploads it, and then you are fired or publicly shamed. Usually CBS is overly generous in protecting people by not showing stupid and/or bigoted language. Recently, this has become more of a news story. I am making no judgments on Clay Honeycutt, the man, but do not be surprised if over a 3 month period, he says something offensive, and it gets blown up.

Stay Tuned for a breakdown of the cast and which archetype the producers decide Clay fits into. Feel free to leave questions in the comments.

Show Glossary

Head of Household (HOH) - Person who gets to set nominations and have their own bed/bathroom

Power of Veto (POV) - Allows the holder to veto one of the two nominations

The Block - Where the two nominees metaphorically sit

Floater - When someone isn’t a loud jerk off (or someone who doesn’t strongly pick sides)

Coup D’etat - Magical power mentioned earlier that allows the underdog to change the rules

Backdoor – Evicting the replacement nominee after the veto

Pandora’s Box - See Coup D’etat bullshit, but a 50/50 shot of good verse bad

Julie Chen – Possibly the worst host on TV, but she is also married to the CBS president.

Slop - Losers of the food competition are often only able to eat this oatmeal-like paste

Lockdown/Fish - When the live feeds go out because they are holding a special meeting or setting up a competition

Showmance - Romantic relationship between two people for purpose of the show