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Good Bull Hunting's Favourite English Premier League Clubs

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Jolly good offseason.

Mark Runnacles/Getty Images

Are people filling your Twitter timeline with gibberish chatter at random times? An English Premier League thing is probably happening. The English Premier League is like the NFL, but with scarves and unyielding smugness. If you're reading this, you're probably American and thus have no ties whatsoever to these red coat clubs. Take heart! These are the GBH-approved EPL clubs that you can root for:

Filchinhamptonshire United Crusading Knights

​Horseborough Downs Tipplers

Marks and Spencer Trolleys

Middleham Earls of Sandwich

St. Hadrian's Masons

Feversham Tumblers

St. Pancras Merchantmen

Whipplefield-upon-Shamley Shirtminders

Chalk Farm Chalk Farmers

Salisbury Stakes

Windthornton Wainwrights

Tetley Teakettles​

​Abergavenny Cockney Taints

Barking Codswallops

Bexhill-on-Sea Knackered Tooths

Bishop Mick Damp Squibs

Conwytowne Rubbish

Chepstow Jammies

Clamtoe Knobs

Caerleonham Hedgehobs

​Haverfordwest Polish Swirly

Hay-on-Wye Persnickety Brass Monkeys

Holyhead Wry Coitus

HornyQueen Charlies

Jacksonville Jaguars

Llantwit Major

Loony Toon Bloody Poofs

Mold Bollocks

Mossteef Cock Cheese

Pembrokeshire Plonkers

Olde Rhymney Mayonnaise

Saltney Wank Saints

St. Peniston Beans

Vaginawich Noles

St. Giblets-upon-Ham

Wrexhamster Anal Spur

West Dibley Chambermaids

St. Dudley-on-Piddleston

Greenwich Chutneyfarts

Quibly Racists

Wexhamshire Frolickers

Vanlandingham Auctioneers

Castleberry Crunch

Skivvy Pompous Wondermen

Falcon Hill Pugilists

The Who

Shipley Flatmates