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Daily Bull 12.10.15

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"Well, there's presents and sweaters
And the pie don't taste right
And dad and the TV are starting to fight
I wish I had a drink or maybe a dozen
Lord, what I'd give for one good looking cousin

So let's all gather around
Dad, you say the blessing
Aunt Jane, she fell asleep
Mary Kay forgot the dressing

But got all of our friends and family here
And now I'm grateful for Christmas this year"
- Hayes Carll

Maddie Meyer/Getty Images

HAPPY HANUKKAH AND MAZEL TO OUR JEWISH READERS.

[GETS OUT PROTRACTOR, ABACUS, AND LUDES]. Are you into numbers? Of course you are. You're an Aggie, by God. Probably an engineer. Me? I majored in Sport Management where I learned how to keep utility balls properly inflated and how to cheat your way through concussion protocols. Numbers aren't my bag. Over at the SB Nation mothership, the renowned Bill Connelly is churning through advanced metrics for each bowl game. Sink your analytical teeth into these figures. SPOILER: the advanced metrics indicate a Louisville win.

Here's why I don't put too much stock in advanced metrics - especially for bowl games. Bowls are weird. There's a long break. Some players get fat and giggly. Coaches jump for better jobs or are pink slipped. Everything is removed from the rhythm of where the advanced stats came from - the regular season. Grab a knee, gang. Gather in. You know what advanced metrics don't measure? Give-A-Fucks. Bowl games are largely about how many Give-A-Fucks you brought on your vacation. Fran always backed over his Give-A-Fucks in the driveway on the way to the airport. Moron. Here's hoping the Fightin' Texas Aggies pack the equipment trucks - and their HEARTS! - with Give-A-Fucks. Beat the hell outta Louisville.

YEAH BUT HOW ABOUT A DAY IN THE LIFE OF DAUNTE CULPEPPER. My favorite author - one Dr. Norris Camacho - tackled the topic of another doctor. Yep, Dr Pepper. What we have is a missive of a day in the life of Larry Culpepper. Stay tuned for the next installment which is bound to include a foreclosure and spiking the aforementioned Dr Pepper with pruno.

LOMBARDI AWARD. Congratulations to Penn State's Carl Nassib on winning the Lombardi Award - honoring college football's top defensive lineman or linebacker. Nassib beat out Myles Garrett and Ohio State's Joey Bosa. 2016 is yours, Myles. Keep grinding.

READ THIS REGARDING JOHNNY. Addiction, mental health, and the like are very difficult, complicated issues with many layers. Johnny Manziel's life at 23 unfolds for millions to see. Football is just football. Johnny has a life to live. As much as the super stiff NFL or quick-hit media wants to package this story into a disposable, tidy narrative, the reality of what Johnny is facing doesn't fit nicely into sound bites if we're handling the issues with the respect they deserve. This piece on Deadspin is a good reminder. Because of the stigma and the desires of many to watch Johnny fail, I'm sure this isn't the last time we'll need the reminder. Go get 'em, #2. Give 'em hell.

Have a great Thursday, y'all.