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The Texas A&M University Police Department twitter account has mastered the art of slimming down a police report into a 140-character tweet, many reminding us of our best and worst times in college. Here are some of the best tweets from 2015:
(10/4) 23 yr old W/M arrested for Public Intoxication in PA13. When asked where his ride was, said "That's a great #!@+*^% question"
— Texas A&M Police (@TAMUPolice) October 9, 2015
Probably not the best answer, though.
(10/4) 18 yr old W/M arrested for Public Intoxication on Bush Dr. Walking in b/t cars stopped at red light & tried to get in police car
— Texas A&M Police (@TAMUPolice) October 9, 2015
At least this guy showed the first guy that any problem can be solved.
(10/3) 18 yr old W/M arrested for Public Intoxication at Kyle Field. Told officer he thought he was at AT&T Stadium for Baylor-Tx Tech game
— Texas A&M Police (@TAMUPolice) October 9, 2015
I guess this guy got to participate in a blow out either way. I'm guessing his was around 0.14.
(9/26) 23 yr old W/M arrested for DWI. Told officer he was coming from Winn-Dixie. His passenger corrected him & named a popular NG bar.
— Texas A&M Police (@TAMUPolice) September 28, 2015
His buddy should've also told him that the Winn-Dixie closed in 1997.
(9/20) 20 yr old W/M arrested for DWI. Told officer he was heading to Northgate & that he was a "6" on a 1-10 intoxication scale.
— Texas A&M Police (@TAMUPolice) September 28, 2015
Well that's not very good at all.
(9/13) 18 yr old W/F arrested for Public Intox. outside NG Post Office. When asked how intoxicated on 0-10 scale, reply was "not very good"
— Texas A&M Police (@TAMUPolice) September 18, 2015
Well I guess that's a "6," then.
(9/20) 20 yr old W/M arrested for DWI, Poss.Cont. Sub., & Poss. Marij. Gave cars owner's manual instead of insurance to officer when stopped
— Texas A&M Police (@TAMUPolice) September 28, 2015
"My license? It's right there on the back of the car, man."
(8/20) 20 yr old male arrested for DWI on Wellborn Rd. Gave officer a receipt & then a medical insurance card when asked for car insurance.
— Texas A&M Police (@TAMUPolice) August 26, 2015
At least the last guy handed the cops something car-related.
(9/12) 21 yr old W/M arrested for Public Intox. & Resisting Arrest at Kyle Field. Workers found him in a concession stand food prep area.
— Texas A&M Police (@TAMUPolice) September 18, 2015
We should probably have the TAMU Police see if they can help out the concessionaires by finding hot dog buns back there after halftime, too.
(9/6) 22 yr old W/M arrested for Public Intox. at Northside Garage. When asked why he was lying on the floor, replied "waiting for you"
— Texas A&M Police (@TAMUPolice) September 8, 2015
(8/8) 21 year old male arrested for Public Intox. outside Peterson Bldg. Told officers, "I'm going with these guys" (*no one else around)
— Texas A&M Police (@TAMUPolice) August 11, 2015
There needs to be an app out there to help guys like this. Something for drunk dudes who just need another dude to crash with for the night, for guys reciprocally interested in dude rendezvous.
(2/1) Person passed out on Hotard sidewalk arrested for Public Intoxication. Asked the officer, "Do you want to dance?" when they came to.
— Texas A&M Police (@TAMUPolice) February 4, 2015
"The road goes on forever...."
If you're a current student, make sure you take them up on the free bicycle engraving they offer every few weeks. Follow @TAMUPolice on twitter for details, and if you find yourself in a situation where they're arresting you, try to be both polite and tweet-worthy.