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Daily Bull 6.12.14

"I ain't got many friends left to talk to... No one's around when I'm in trouble... You know I'd do anything for you... Stay the night but keep it undercover... I just wanna use your love tonight, whoa... I don't wanna lose your love tonight"... 11 weeks until we tee it up in Columbia, y'all.

Vegas. College.
Vegas. College.
Stephen R. Sylvanie-USA TODAY Sp

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WELCOME BACK, BOYS. THERE'S WORK TO DO. Saturday Down South takes a look at each SEC programs' returning lettermen. The Ags rank 3rd in the league (23rd nationally) with 54 returning lettermen. South Carolina ranks 1st in the SEC and 1st nationally with 58 returning lettermen. I think we play them this season.

POWER POWER POWER CONFERENCES. Say, when was the last time A&M played a team from the B1G? What about the Pac? Not bowl games, mind you. Regular season ball. This nifty chart details who and when each SEC program played a regular season game against a Power 5 conference foe. The Ags' breakdown:

  • ACC - Miami 2008
  • Big Ten - Michigan 1977
  • Big 12 - Texas 2011
  • PAC 12 - Stanford 1992
That is some colossally bad, lazy, and cowardly scheduling over the years. And before you get defensive, please notice that the two programs with the most to lose over the last 15 or so years (Bama and LSU) have done kick ass jobs scheduling challenging, interesting, and unique non-conference football games.

BUCKLE THE COCKSTRAPS. WE GOT A COCKFIGHT. A blog called ESPN has ranked the 2014 offensive lines in the Southeastern Conference. And wouldn't you know it - the top two are Carolina and us. Amusing that two coaches who love to flick it all over the yard might have a good ole fashioned smash mouth brawl to start the season.

READING BAD HERE'S SLYDESHOW. I feel a little guilty linking to a damn slideshow, but it's Johnny. Best Of. Slideshows are just what Red Raiders call "text books".


GOF TIME. The US Open starts today. Pretty sure that's the only sport going on. There are a ton of Ags in the field. Keep an eye on Ryan Palmer. This still is one of my favorite articles of all time - "The Etymology of the Golf Prick". An excerpt:
"Ted? Tedddddd in Global Accounts? GREAAAAAT GUY! BIG STICK! Owns a waverunner; his second wife Patti has a tremendous fake rack. Has a place out in Olde Thornewilde Heights. The low 600s. Backyard DOES NOT back to the preserve. He has a stepson from Patti's first marriage, so fuck that. SHARP dresser. Padraig Harrington collection. Played with him at the retreat in Scottsdale - laid up down the back 9 when he got a stroke up on me after a bullshit break on the apron. Questionable downswing. Still, BIG STICK. Buttfucked a lady-boy accidentally in Mexico on a fraternity trip once. But GREAAAAT guy. Looooove Patti. Really like Patti. Stepkid is an arsonist or a Goth or some shit. So, like I said: fuck that. But Patti is a sweet girl and a really class lady. Takes Zoloft. Cries a lot. Would love to suck on those fake tits of hers. Natural blonde. But I said - GREAAAAAT guyyyyy."

And finally... a offseason poll.

[gathers the State of Texas internet]

[throws them all in an oil drum]


[drops in stick of live dynamite]

Have a big Thursday, gang. You're loved.