Surprise: Aggie Football is back! (sort of)

As February slowly thaws into March, it's understandable if Aggie fans are distracted by the advent of a promising baseball season, the heating up of intramural basketball, and the extremely-well-researched-and-thought-out Kyle Field redesign.

However, this being SEC country and all, Spring Football is right up there with sundresses and shorts in many a young GBH'ers mind, and despite the lack of a Maroon and White Game due to construction, there are still several pressing issues at hand.

With all members of the team locked in, focused, and ready to perform at a high level, the Good Bull Hunting staff decided that rather than rehash the same tired preview, why not just skip to the end of Spring and let you know exactly what happened? No need to depend on reporters peering through small cracks in the fence dear reader; the Reveille3000 was engaged, and we bring you breaking news from the end of March. Or maybe April. Our odometer needs work.

The headlines shall read:

Wow, the defense is still looking, um, pretty rough.

Spoiler alert: Myles Garrett doesn't arrive until June. With Daeshon Hall (shoulder), Jay Arnold (shoulder), Isaiah Golden (parking), and Darian Claiborne (shoulder, dumbassery) all missing time, a squad coming off a #109 total defense ranking didn't magically get a whole lot better over night.

Shaan Washington and A.J. Hilliard in particular were pleasant surprises at linebacker, and Noel Ellis looks to have a legitimate chance to nab a starting cornerback job when August practice rolls around.

On day four, after Mark Snyder's goal line defense lined up in a 3-man front, Kevin Sumlin threw his visor so hard at a grad assistant that he knocked him out and the injury required 17 stitches to close. The defense stays in a 4-man front the rest of Spring Practice and shows steady improvement.

Terry Joseph really seems to know what he's doing.

In spite of the talent gap found in more than one spot across the defense, observers were flummoxed by the secondary's ability to recognize routes, occasionally line up in press man coverage, and generally seem to communicate at a high level.

When asked what was different, DeVante Harris simply shrugged his shoulders and sighed. "I don't know man. Whenever we asked anything about technique, Coach Yates just started telling stories about the 2007 Fiesta Bowl. The whole thing was pretty weird."

[Through tightly clenched teeth and buttocks] 'Kevin Sumlin is really running a gadgety, renegade program. I'm beginning to think he's losing control of his players.'

Ags, I don't want to shatter your beautiful illusory dreams, but - and this is hard for me to say - several of our athletes . . smoke. And I don't want to get too specific, but dope, grass, spliff, mary jane, acapulco red, schwag, jive stick, KGB, and kush were all whispered about during practice. And that's just how Jake Spavital likes to call out formations.

As deejays spun only the finest of vinyl, Sumlin was difficult to pin down as he was busy welcoming Johnny Manziel, Mike Evans, Bun B, Usher, LeBron James, Miley Cyrus, Damontre Moore, DeLorian, Michelle Obama, Drake, and Rich Eisen to practice. The first week.

Meanwhile, the Austin papers laughed off the celebrity parade, the three additional five-star recruits A&M landed during practice, and ESPN's hyper-focus on College Station, penning several 'Has the shine worn off the Swagcopter yet?' articles. Charlie Strong couldn't be reached for comment, as after a back-up tight end was late to stretch, he made the entire team run to Mexico City and back.

I simply cannot believe they haven't named a starting Quarterback yet!?!!

A brief reminder: Johnny Manziel was named the starter on August 16, 2012. Sorry to disappoint, but those hoping to see Sumlin hand the keys over to one guy will be a bit let down. Both quarterbacks had their good days and bad, with Kyle Allen displaying a surprisingly strong command of the offense. With an average of 15 to 18 seconds before the first sign of pressure, both signal-callers were able to check through their progressions an average of three and a half times before getting rid of the ball.

Wow, the new guys look great!

Well, yes, you do in fact read this every year, but this Spring's crop is especially interesting.

From the JUCO ranks, Jermaine Eluemunor started slow, but Avery Gennesy looked great from day one, ending the Spring as the starter at right tackle. Joshua Reynolds was good in limited snaps, but Speedy Noil was a revelation, grabbing a starting spot the 2nd week of practice, as well as stern instruction to avoid handicapped parking spaces.

Even several redshirt freshmen got in on the action as Kyrion Parker and James White showed flashes of the future on offense, while Reggie Chevis, Victor Davis, and Justin Manning all looked like they had the ability to provide immediate depth. Kameron Miles took exactly one practice to grab a starting spot at safety, and looks to have a lock on the position heading into the fall.

Kyle Field this fall is going to be incredible.

Yes. Yes it is.