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*** LINK TO VOTE FOR GBH***
We may not win the popular vote to become Texas A&M's next Student Body President. However, we need to beat this guy in Daisy Dukes for the write-in vote.
#WriteInJohnny for Texas A&M SBP @cuppycup @TelcoAg @stringsays @spadilly @rcb05 pic.twitter.com/BvkbI33C01
— Trent Stevenson (@Trenticles_) February 19, 2014
Okay, let's be honest. GBH is not going to beat that guy. Even so, it's important for you to understand our campaign promises so that you'll live the next year under a cloud of regret.
*** LINK TO VOTE FOR GBH***
CAMPAIGN PROMISES/THREATS
No More Vandalism
We will post a Corps guard at the Century Tree 24/7 to snap photos and blog shame anyone with a pocketknife. Anyone suspicious will be asked to follow @rcb05 on Twitter until they get fed up and leave the area.
Culture and Diversity Awareness
Every other Tuesday evening, Rudder Auditorium will screen an iconic 80's Action Film to be immediately followed by a Town Hall Discussion comparing the movie to Road House.
No Football Off-seasons
The 12th Man will get into uniform and perform weekly historical reenactments of the greatest Aggie football games from February through August.
Coke at Kyle Field
Kind of. We asked Pepsi to formulate a Coke-flavored Pepsi soft drink to serve at Kyle Field. Now we're hearing that if someone with the political clout of a SBP applies pressure, the imitation Coke will start flowing.
Free Lifetime GBH Membership
The student body will gain free access to our premium content. We are also willing to share our logins to Aggie paysites as long as you don't get us banned.
Waffles for Ags
We made them a PowerPoint and mailed them a t-shirt, but Waffle House has yet to bow to our demands. For PHASE THREE, we are sending Waffle House a sew-on patch.
Financial Aid
We are reducing Scantron prices by 1¢. All sizes and colors.
*** LINK TO VOTE FOR GBH***
Free Fuego
If you are an attractive female student, you will continue to receive free food and beverages at Fuego.
Tailgating
On-campus tailgating will begin the moment GBH's THE TAILGATE is released to the public.
Career Advancement
A Bachelor of Arts in Blogging will be offered by the College of Agriculture and Life Sciences.
Free Entertainment
Jay Arnold will fight a live bear on top of the Dixie Chicken once a month.
Winning Basketball
GBH will now exclusively cover the UTEP Miners in hoops.
Fine Dining
We will create a hybrid restaurant called Raising Layne's that will be located between the two chicken finger establishments on Texas Avenue.
More Laughs
Benjamin Knox will paint our presidential portrait.
Traditions Theme Park
We will build an on-campus rollercoaster called The Skyrocket.
One More Year
Travis Labhart will return for another season in Maroon and White... by any means necessary.