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GBH WATCHLIST: Week 7

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Football watching all over the place.

"say, is that the UCF-BYU game?"
"say, is that the UCF-BYU game?"
James Snook-USA TODAY Sports

Welcome to week 7 of the season. We're down a man this week as Jimmy is traveling on srs football bsnss. Half of us are going to be meeting up live and in person, mumbling half-hearted greetings while rapidly tweeting on their phones. The rest of us stragglers will be at weddings or stumbling into work on Sunday back on the home front.

This week a couple of us picked those inexplicable ACC games that somehow draw us in even though we know better. It's like, you pick up the remote, you know you should flip it to another game, and yet....and yet...

gtsafety

By the way, GT is the *other* undefeated ACC team. Yep.

Enjoy the shows. We will:

Dr. Norris Camacho:

GAME 1

Washington State @ Stanford | Friday 8 PM | ESPN

WHY

Looking forward to seeing whether or not Stanford returns Wazzu's first kickoff for a touchdown. Everything after that is just gravy. Philosophically, this game is like us vs. Arkansas turnt up to 11.

THE ESSENTIALS

I'm not going to the Ole Miss game. In fact, I'm not going anywhere all weekend. I'll be doing as I damn well please until management says otherwise. [surreptitiously removes feet from table, takes out trash]

GAME 2

Boston College @ NC State | Saturday 2:30 PM | FSN

WHY

Because I am a glutton and this is ample punishment. The Tom O'Brien trophy is at stake here for whichever team can cultivate the blandest, most predictable output out of seemingly limitless potential based on past results. True story: my sister attended this game in 200X while visiting friends in the area. I told her it should be a fun matchup. The Pack lost something like 37-0 and she said the atmosphere there was miserable. Tom O'Brien is not one to relish revenge, cold or otherwise. No, sir. Far too spicy. That's why he's at Virginia now.

THE ESSENTIALS

Poor ol' Tom O' Bee

Can't escape the ACC

Wheel of Destiny

Hypno-Toad

GAME 1

#9 TCU @ #5 Baylor  |  2:30 PM Saturday |  abc

WHY

If you don't find it hilarious that undefeated Baylor got jumped in the polls by two schools from Mississippi then I'm not sure we can be friends.  This weekend's Bible Brawl matches up the best that the Big XII has to offer.  The loser gets a much harder road for a conference title and not much shot at a playoff berth.  The winner gets all of the money they can grab from the collection plate being passed around McLane Stadium.


THE ESSENTIALS

GET YOUR ASS TO THE GBH TAILGATE.  NO, THE REAL ONE.  The essentials in this case are all of the free pork, beer, whiskey, and assorted debauchery that your system can handle.  Then you get to go to the game, assuming you can still find Kyle Field by then.


GAME 2

#12 Oregon @ #18 UCLA  |  2:30 PM Saturday |  FOX

WHY

This is the only other top 25 matchup outside of the SEC, which is a thing that you can say a lot of weeks.  I heart the chrome-plated Ducks and root for them in most situations, and in this case they have the opportunity to make the horns' loss to UCLA look incrementally worse.  Make it so Oregon, then celebrate by dancing naked in a forest somewhere.

THE ESSENTIALS

Maroon shirt.  12th Man Towel.  Beer.  Pork.  Whiskey.  GET TO THE GAME.



oscarwildecat

GAME 1

Duke @ Georgia Tech | Saturday 11:30AM | ACC Network

WHY

While casual fans of the game tune into Georgia-Mizzou, while masochists tune into Texas-Oklahoma, and while work-release programs tune into Texas Tech-West Virginia, the true college football aficionado will be one place: the ACC Network, assuming my cable provider carries it.  David Cutcliffe and his spread option meet Paul Johnson and his anger management issues in a battle for, um, one of the divisions in the ACC.  They have divisions, right?

THE ESSENTIALS

As no true Ramblin' Wreck acolyte drinks anything developed post-World War II, I will slowly be sipping a gin fizz.  Seriously, does anyone know if Dish carries the ACC Network?

GAME 2

Auburn @ Mississippi State | Saturday 2:30PM | CBS

WHY

Because the Dan Mullen spread option run to perfection against the Gus Malzahn spread offense is beautiful.  Because I want to see what real front 7 play against the Mississippi State defense looks like.  Because watching these two coaches out-dramatize the other on the sideline will be glorious.  And because Dak Prescott is grudgingly must-watch television.

THE ESSENTIALS

Bourbon.  Coke.  Ice.  Repeat.  8:00pm cometh.

thacktor

Game 1

BYU @ UCF | Thursday 6:30 | ESPN

WHY

This is the clash I've been waiting for. The Mormons are taking their special underwear to Florida, the land of 1,000,000 messed up news stories. If there's any game where the CFB shit is going to hit the fan, it's here. Be on the lookout for cloudless lightening, seeing stones and a bath salts fueled brawl.


THE ESSENTIALS

If you're a faithful Watchlist reader, you'll know that I'm a method football watcher. That's why my 8 sister-wives and I will be doing about 10 bags of methamphetamine and watching this game from the TV section of WalMart. I have no rooting interest in either team, so I'm meeting them halfway.


Game 2

LSU @ Florida | Saturday 6:30 | SECN


WHY

LES MILES VS DUMPSTER FIRE!


THE ESSENTIALS

Still riding the meth train with the sister-wives. This isn't half-bad, y'all. Only now, it's late on Saturday and I've gotta get ready to watch the Aggies play Ole Miss after a wedding. I'll be watching this on my phone, sister-wives in tow, from some spot at a wedding reception whilst riding the snake. Ooh, crab cakes!

doug.keegan

Game 1

OU vs t.u. | Saturday 11:00AM | ABC

WHY

To see if a meteor destroys the Cotton Bowl and its occupants. And to watch Team Core Values drop to 2-4 on the year. Though it's difficult to fathom since Tyrone Swoopes was a certified five star quarterback recruit. Right, Goeff Ketchum?

THE ESSENTIALS

WERE PREGAMING FOR OLE PISS ONLY NINE MORE HOURS GRAB YOUR DRINKS AND GET ON IT!

Game 2

Oregon at UCLA | Saturday 2:30AM | FOX

WHY

One of these two preseason Top 10 teams is about to drop to 1-2 in PAC play. Also, I'm curious if the sieve that is the Duck OL will get Marcus Mariota killed before halftime. As with all PAC football, there will be explosive plays and points, and I'm powerless to resist that brand of football.

THE ESSENTIALS

WHY ARE YOU READING THIS GET READY FOR MISSISSIPPI OTHER GAMES ARE NICE BUT WE HAVE ASSES TO KICK SATURDAYNIGHT!

Game 3

Bama at Arkansas | Saturday 5PM | ESPN

WHY

The potential for BERT and Lane Kiffin engaging in a competition to see who can be the bigger cockface is worth the watch. There's also the lingering question of just how far back to the rest of the pack Bama has fallen this year. That Crimson Tide armor isn't looking so shiny and impenetrable of late.

THE ESSENTIALS

SCREW YOU ADMIRAL ACKBARS YOURE GOING DOWN DR BO MEET MYLES GARRETT WE WILL CATCH ALL THE PASSES MAKE ALL THE TACKLES AND SCORE ALL THE POINTS! BEAT THE HELL OUTTA OLE MISS!

Lucas Jackson

Game 1

Alabama @ Arkansas | Thursday 6:00 | ESPN

WHY

I’ll be watching this game at the GBH Tailgate, surrounded by hundreds of internet people whom I’ve never met.  I’ll need something to talk about.  I plan on amazing them with my knowledge of Arkansas football.  In reality though, I expect Bama to crush the Hogs.  BERT v. KIFFINFENSE in a ladder match.  Loser is in the SEC West cellar.

THE ESSENTIALS

In case you didn’t read the above, I’ll be at the GBH Tailgate.  All essentials are therefore provided.  (As long as my cellphone doesn’t die).

Game 2

USC @ Arizona | Saturday 9:30 | ESPN2

WHY

It’s the last game of the evening.  Hopefully I can catch the 2nd half at Duddley’s Draw while cooling my heels ending a glorious day of football and tailgating.  As it turns out, this actually a captivating matchup that could very well determine the Pac 12 South.  Rich Rodriguez is the Anti-Michigan Man, and that is a fun thing to watch sometimes.

THE ESSENTIALS

A wise man once said, "When in Rome, F*#k the Romans."  Well, when I’m in College Station, I go to Duddleys.  I’ve never seen a Roman there, but I once had a guy ask me if we met in Cuba.  Time to order up a Texas Survival Kit and a chugger of Miller Lite.