GBH WATCHLIST: WEEK 8

Welp, we're limping into Tuscaloosa on the skids with a nice bye week up ahead, but that doesn't mean there aren't a good 20 hours of football to devour, beginning this evening.  Hop in for a ride-along to find out what's happening this weekend. That PItt-Virginia Tech dandy on Thursday was just a warm-up.

Dr. Norris Camacho

GAME 1

Fresno State @ Boise State| Friday 7 PM | ESPN

WHY

It's Timmy D on Friday night. We do this every week, sir. Both teams are 2-1 in conference play and currently second in their respective divisions, so this *could* be a prelude to the MWCCG on December 6. This is no longer a Chris Peterson-led Boise juggernaut. The mystique of the blue turf: is it fading...?

THE ESSENTIALS

GAME 2

Iowa @ Maryland | Saturday 11:00 AM | ESPN2

WHY

Forget the football. The football is horrible and scarring. Perhaps that's why these two schools' SBN blog podcasts are the ELITE of customized intro songs:

BHGP Medley

Testudo Times: TERP DOWN FOR WHAT

THE ESSENTIALS

It's going to be a brisk 87 degrees where I reside, so still gonna go with shorts and a bucket of iced tea to get things started. There are things to be said for consistency.

GAME 3

Kentucky @ LSU | Saturday 6:30 PM | SECN

WHY

2002 REPEAT POSSIBILITY? This could very well end up being an extremely entertaining affair. It's got all the fun of unpredictable and similarly-matched opponents without the extensive baggage that comes with Notre Dame-Florida State.

THE ESSENTIALS

Bourbon fumes at dusk and delicious, well-manicured grass. A true Southern gentleman's dream in the vein of William Styron.

James Gardner

GAME 1

Rutgers at Ohio State | Saturday 2:30 PM | ABC/ESPN2

WHY

In an earlier life, I worked in an industry that had me traveling all over the country for college football games and interacting with their fans. Some fans are just the best (North Carolina, Navy, [ahem] TCU even) and some are, well, Ohio State and Rutgers. Formalwear for these slack-jawed dolts is an authentic game jersey (over hoodie) and a newish pair of Timberland boots. Know those dudes who love to CRUSH PUSSY AND BEER AND FIGHT AT BARS? Yeah, it’s these fan bases. Should be a hoot!

THE ESSENTIALS

A plate of migas, some Willie Nelson, and peyote (Ags are playing at the same time, you see).

GAME 2

Tennessee at Ole Miss | Saturday 6 PM | ESPN

WHY

Can the Vols hang around long enough to make this interesting? Can happiness ever be achieved in this lifetime? What does it all MEAN? The Rebs are ranked No. 3 on October 16 which is completely inexplicable in its own right and straight shit Armageddon when you notice their little brothers sitting at No. 1. Nothing is real in the world anymore.

THE ESSENTIALS

F it. Cooking myself a ribeye. Because I’m an American, dammit. Medium rare FATTY (I like the beef to wink at me before I eat it) with a nice dusting of S&P. Cranking the Drive-by Truckers and screwing off on College Football Twitter.

doug.keegan

GAME 1

Baylor at West Virginia | 11:00 AM | FOX Sports 1

WHY

When Baylor last visited Morgantown in 2012, they went down in a spectacular fireball, falling 70-63. In a regulation college football game. The Vegas total for the 2014 matchup is a nice round 80. Usually to see this much scorin' in the State of West Virginia you need a case of moonshine and a family reunion. So start your Saturday off right with a brunch of touchdowns and shoddy tackling.

THE ESSENTIALS

Dana Holgorsen's Breakfast of Blackjack Champions: A Whataburger Honeybutter Chicken Biscuit chased with a six pack of Red Bull. Just be sure you get to Whataburger before kickoff, because those jerks stop serving breakfast at 11. Even on the weekends. Asshats.

GAME 2

Georgia at Arkansas | 3:00 PM | SEC Network

WHY

Sure, it's in roughly the same broadcast window as A&M at Alabama and it's another venue where consanguine marriages may be conducted in the stands, but this SEC contest with the very real potential to be competitive should draw your glances during commercial breaks. Can BERT get his first SEC Win? Will Mark Richt lose control of [noun]? It's all on the table. Along with well executed power running games, which you'll enjoy envy-watching after seeing A&M's rhino package ruin at least one possession.

THE ESSENTIALS

A pork based snack of your choosing (because it's Arkansas, see?) paired with no fewer than three pitchers of cheap domestic brew, as required when your team is staring down the barrel of a three game conference losing streak.

GAME 3

Stanford at Arizona State | Saturday 9:30 PM | ESPN

WHY

It's been established that I'm a helpless sucker for late night PAC football, but here we're faced with two important philosophical questions: What happens when the immovable object (Stanford's stingy defense) meets the irresistable force (ASU's buttery smooth offense)? And what happens when the eminently movable object (ASU's "defense") meets the totally resistable force (Stanford's red zone "offense")? This'll also compete with Notre Dame - Florida State for the title of "biggest academic prestige gap of the weekend".

THE ESSENTIALS

A half gallon of Blue Bell Cookies N Cream. Don't even bother with a bowl. Just eat the whole thing, straight from the carton. You deserve to be comforted.

oscarwildecat

GAME 1

Kansas State @ Oklahoma | Saturday 11:00 AM | ESPN

WHY

Well, for starters, there are no Big 10 teams involved, so everyone's a winner! Not only did every single coach involved in this game intern for Bill Snyder at some point, they were all actually delivered by Hayden Fry in a small county hospital just outside of Youngstown, Ohio. Amazing, yet true. Also, the Wizard of Manhattan will take your community college tight end, slap some spackle on him, and beat you soundly about the Trevor Knight, and you will enjoy it. Respect your elders.

THE ESSENTIALS

It's probably too early for Buffalo Trace, but CBS at 2:30 awaits, and we are going to need to be sufficiently numbed about our extremities.

GAME 2

Washington @ Oregon | Saturday 7:00 PM | FS1

Some of you will look at the bright, shiny lights of Florida State - Notre Dame, and blindly run down that alley.  Some of you are also dumb, and will get hit by a car.  The west coast is the best coast, especially when it comes to weird, late-night college football.  Oregon is wearing incredibly awesome 1994 throwbacks, the Duck and the Husky will probably get into a dance off, and Chris Petersen will grimly stare into the void of it all.

THE ESSENTIALS

A Willamette Valley pinot noir, 2012 Founders Reserve if I happen to hit the lottery before Saturday, otherwise whatever swill is put in my glass, because after the 2:30 CBS game, things could get rather rough around the ol' household.

Hypno-Toad

GAME 1

#5 Notre Dame @ #2 Florida State | EVERYWHERE ON YOUR TVS

WHY

Because one or both of these teams has no business being in the top ten, and now one of them will have no choice but to be eliminated.  Normally I like to root against Notre Dame because of all the Domer reasons, but honestly at this point I don't know if there is a less likable player in college football than Jameis Winston.  Touchdown Jesus knows what you did Jameis, now you will feel His wrath except that His implement is the Notre Dame football team so you might just get off scot-free again.

THE ESSENTIALS

Crab dip served on communion wafers?  Sacramental wine out of an autographed chalice?  FOOTBALL JOKES, PEOPLE. Sometimes they write themselves and you wish that they would stop doing that.

GAME 2

Iowa State @ Texas  |  7 PM Saturday  |  LHN

WHY

I will actually be in attendance for this game because, like music, Schadenfreude is best enjoyed live in Austin.  Covertly enjoying this circus fire while overtly rooting for the Cyclones in DKR will make my weekend complete.  If I were either of these teams I would elect to hide this event on the LHN too.

THE ESSENTIALS

The Saint Arnold Brewery will be holding a pub crawl on Rainey Street from 2 to 6 on Saturday.  With any luck we will still make it to the game, but if not we will have an excellent reason.