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ALL CAPS PREVIEW

YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS

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Thomas Campbell-USA TODAY Sports

ALL THE CRITICISMS ABOUT NOT BEING ALL CAPS STOP NOW. IT'S BAMA WEEKEND. DO YOU HEAR ME? BAMA F-ING WEEKEND. THE MOMENT WE'VE BEEN WAITING ON FOR DAMN NEAR A YEAR IS NOW HERE. I CANNOT EVEN PUT INTO WORDS HOW I'M FEELING SO I WILL USE THE YOUTUBES. BUT TO START TAKE THIS GIF

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AND LIGHT CHARLIE DAY ON FIRE. THEN GIVE HIM NUNCHUCKS IN ONE HAND AND A FLAMING SPEAR IN THE OTHER. THEN PUT NICK SABAN IN FRONT OF HIM. AND THAT'S .0001 OF HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW. I CANNOT GUARANTEE THAT THE FOLLOWING POST WILL BE COHERENT, BUT TO HELL WITH COHERENCY. WE DONT NEED COHERENCY. WE NEED ANGER. WE NEED RAGE. WE. NEED. HATE.

SONG CHOICE TO START: CLICK THIS AND LET THE RAGE OVERCOME YOU. TURN OFF THE LIGHTS IN YOUR OFFICE. GRIT YOUR DAMN TEETH. LET THE FIRE OF A THOUSAND SUNS FILL YOUR EYES. IT IS BAMA FUCKING WEEKEND.

TO HELL WITH EVERYTHING.

TO HELL WITH SABAN

TO HELL WITH THE WORLD AROUND US. NOTHING ELSE MATTERS EXCEPT FOR 2:30 AT THAT HATE BARN.

NOW STOP THUNDERSTRUCK. AND PLAY THIS.

CAN YOU IMAGINE JOHNNY AT THE GATES? CAN YOU IMAGINE LARRY JACKSON HOLDING BACK HIS CAREFULLY CRAFTED GROUP OF RABID DOGS? CAN YOU PICTURE BEN MALENA'S TRICEPS BECOMING SELF AWARE AND STRANGLING EVERYONE AROUND THEM?

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NOW STOP PLAYING POWER. AND CLICK ON THIS. AND GEAR YOURSELF UP FOR THE FRENETIC PACE OF THE GAME. OUR TEMPO WILL BE LIKE THAT SONG SPED UP 12 BILLION TIMES.

AND NOW JOHNNY TAKES THE DAMN FIELD. AND THERE ARE TWO SONGS HERE THAT FIT. FIRST THIS ONE TO GET YOUR MIND RIGHT. AND THEN THIS ONE TO GET YOUR MIND EVEN RIGHTER.

LISTEN TO ALL OF THOSE ALL THE WAY THROUGH.

LET'S MAKE THIS COUNTDOWN EASY

12. BAMA GAME

11. BAMA GAME

10. BAMA GAME

9. BAMA GAME

8. BAMA GAME

7 BAMA GAME

6. SIX FROM BLOSSOM (NEVER MESS WITH A STREAK)

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5. BAMA GAME

4. BAMA GAME

3. BAMA GAME

2. BAMA GAME AND JOHNNY

1. BAMA GAME AND MALENA

NOW WHEN, AND I SURE AS SHIT DID SAY WHEN, WE WIN THIS GAME, THESE TWO CLICKS WILL BE NECESSARY.

CLICK 1

CLICK 2

THAT'S ALL I CAN DO. THAT'S ALL I HAVE. LET THE HATE FLOW THROUGH YOU AGGIES. LET. THE. HATE. FLOW.

THIS IS THE BIGGEST GAME OF OUR LIFETIME STARRING THE BEST DAMN TEAM THAT WE'VE EVER SEEN IN OUR LIFETIME CENTERING AROUND THE BEST DAMN PLAYER IN COLLEGE FOOTBALL.

IF YOU AREN'T ALL CAPS, YOU BETTER GET THERE NOW.

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