Seven Degrees of Kevin Sumlin

Kevin Sumlin: fearless coach, quote machine, and brilliant recruiter. But who is he really? Who does he know? How does he know them? We delve a bit deeper into the enigma of the man in Seven Degrees of Kevin Sumlin to tie him to some remarkable people.

I. Sam Elliott

Gruff, yet cavalier. A man's man. Remarkably like Kevin Sumlin in these regards, but with admittedly cooler facial hair. Here's the connection:

1. Sam Elliott starred in The Big Lebowski as the better half of the two sides of the conscience of the title character. The worst half was played by
2. John Goodman, who starred in the sitcom Roseanne, where his daughter was played by
3. Sara Gilbert. She also starred in the early 2000s sitcom Twins, where one of her guest stars (I am taking Wikipedia's word for this one) was played by 30-something pubescent crooner
4. Nick Lachey, who is most famous for being married to (and sharing their beautiful life together on a TV show) renowned scholar and celebrity
5. Jessica Simpson, who has been photographed being chummy with offensive guru
6. Kliff Kingsbury. And who gave Kliff his break as a big-time coordinator that led to him becoming the second-youngest head coach in all of FBS football?
7. YESSIR.

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II. Ozzy Osbourne

The "Prince of Darkness." One of the founding fathers of Heavy Metal. He's legendary, unassuming, and candid at the same time. Let's make the connection.

1. Ozzy was the feature of the 2011 documentary God Bless Ozzy Osbourne directed by one
2. Mike Fleiss, who was also the producer during the 2004 season of The Batchelor, which starred none other than
3. Jesse Palmer. Palmer has since given up on playing football and TV heartthrob for an announcing career. For a while, his broadcast and special workout partner was
4. Craig James. No one can stand this guy. Not even former college teammate and payrollee
5. Eric Dickerson. Dickerson had a great few years in the NFL, and he was just hitting his stride with the Rams in 1986 when they brought on rookie QB
6. Jim Everett. He would eventually have a solid pro career, but few remember that he got his start at Purdue. In fact, he started playing there the same year as a freshman walk-on linebacker by the name of...
7. YESSIR.

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III. Johnny Five

Lovable robot and possible future QB prototype. Fun-loving and always good for a quote at the most opportune time. Hmmm.

1. Johnny was created by a pair of scientists, one of whom was played by
2. Fisher Stevens, who also was in the forgettable mid-'90s TV show Early Edition starring
3. Kyle Chandler, who is obviously best known for starring in the TV version of the book Friday Night Lights by
4. H.G. Bissinger. One of the players on the opposing team he wrote about in the actual story was linebacker
5. Jessie Armstead out of Dallas, who went to the Miami Hurricanes and played football under head coach
6. Dennis Erickson. During his brief two-year stint at Washington State in the late '80s, Erickson gave who his first-ever college coaching gig as a GA?
7. YESSIR.

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Who else is KDS tied to? Share your own discoveries with us below. And if this task scares you, well, you know, get a dog.