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Q&A with ATVS: HARD-HITTING edition

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We got the football stuff out of the way earlier this week. Now for the real questions.

Derick E. Hingle-USA TODAY Sport

GBH: When are they going to finish painting the tiger head on your field?

ATVS: That's what we get for letting Mike Sherman paint the thing, I guess. Got about halfway there and gave up.

GBH: What round do you believe Zach Mettenberger gets drafted in, and do you believe he has the girlfriend necessary to be an NFL QB from the SEC?

ATVS: If I had to guess, somewhere in between rounds one and three. You know how the NFL is with those tall quarterbacks. They don't like the short guys unless they played in the B1G. Sorry Johnny.

GBH: Since he doesn't have much going on right now, do you think Sam Montgomery will have the self-discipline and motivation to show up to the game this weekend?

ATVS: I bet Johnny could afford to bring him in as a hype man. Sam was one of the first guys to really sound the Heisman horn for him last year, and Johnny might need it after Saturday.

GBH: Creole: a language or a spice flavor? Pick one.

ATVS: Trick question that we use to spot tourists. Kind of like how Texans keep trying to trick people into eating brisket by calling it barbecue, right?

GBH: Is Les Miles the new Charlie Mac to Saban's Bear?

ATVS: Isn't the whole SEC the Charlie Mac to Saban's Bear right now? Actually, that's just wrong. I love Cholly Mac and hate the rest of the SEC, so it would be wrong to lump them together.

GBH: We're still kind of new...what's the deal with grown men waving pom-poms in the SEC?

ATVS: Got me. That's some Auburn-Alabama-Ole Miss shit. Why, are the Aggie cheerleaders looking for some new tricks?