CONNOR SHAW

Everyone loves the backup quarterback which means that South Carolina's Connor Shaw is all yours. Garnet and Black Attack reports that Shaw will be starting against Mizzou this weekend despite lingering injuries. While Shaw may not be 100%, this is your chance to finally live out The English Patient like you've always dreamed. Based on his haircut, he's pretty low maintenance so tread lightly at first. He'll end up breaking your heart like all QB1s but at least he's not Stephen Garcia.

You have to have thick skin, but I know that by now. That's what you want so that you can get better.

TYLER WILSON

This is going to be a hair-pulling, nail-raking hogfight with Arkansas' YouTube diva, Liz Honey. Pray that her positivity carries over to her fighting style because we all know crazy when we see it with its nose scotch-taped to its face. But some things are worth fighting for and if the Tyler Wilson love letter on Arkansas Expats doesn't inspire you, nothing will. Just know that when you're sitting on your ass as Tyler's NFL checks start rolling in, he's going to call you on that shit.

As a leader, it sucks to see people not do their jobs and things go wrong. There have been a lot of things that have gone that way.

MARK RICHT

I don't have to convince you that Mark Richt is a good catch. You fell head over heels for that boyish smile up until the moment he Richtrolled your ass and decided to stay put in Georgia. Well, dust yourself off and get back on the wagon because Dawg Sports says that Mark is doing it big and they're tracking him against Vince Dooley. He'll wine and dine you, but may God help you if he loses control of his libido.

To answer your question, I'm not going to answer that question, because I don't like it. Anybody else have a question?