Nifty Shades of K Chapter 2: What to Wear

Continued from Part I: Binders Full of Women

Oh, hi, Maggie. No, I know I'm not wearing my coaching shirt. I was about to step out for an...appointment. Thank you, I like it too. I call this one "Red Tight Buckle One."

What's that? Why funny you should mention it, but yes, I have done some modeling. Just an online clothing store out of Houston. You would? Okay, I'll show you some more.

I call this one "Red Loose V." It's great for just casually throwing the ball around with friends in an autumn-dappled field, or maybe even a little sailing around Galveston Bay when the water kicks up and gets a little choppy.

I call this one "Game Set Casual." It's great for those rare opportunities when I'm watching football without having to pick it apart. Just hanging out with the guys in a nondescript sports pub, high-fiving each other when something good happens. You've seen commercials.

I call this one "X Double-Roll Stripe One." It's for when I want to come across as serious, but not stuffy like in a suit or anything. I'll sometimes wear it to my book club or to the movies if it's a more serious film. You know, like with subtitles or in black and white.

This one is "X Double-Roll Stripe Two." It's just like "X Double-Roll Stripe One" but slightly more casual. Like for going to regular movies or to the grocery store.

This one is "Black Tie Triple-Knit Tight Button." It's perfect for speaking engagements that aren't directly tied to the football program and also for teaching that Wind Dynamics Physics course they asked me to guest lecture in this semester.

Well yes, it's upper level, but if you're really interested I can probably pull some strings and get you into it. Strange, but there aren't many Physics students in it at all, now that I think about it. It's mostly Speech Communications and Marketing Majors. Yes, I believe some of your friends are in the class, Maggie. Listen, I'm really late for my...appointment, but I'm glad you liked the apparel. See you soon!