SEC Media Days 2014: Kentucky Wildcats

This is not the Kentucky Wildcats preparing for the 2014 football season.

WE SAID WE WOULDN’T DO THIS AGAIN. WE LIED. WE ARE BAD PEOPLE, KENTUCKY. PLEASE DON’T HATE US.

The 2014 SEC Media Days conference closed with the most anticipated team of all, the Kentucky Wildcats.

We assume.

Here’s the thing.  Dallas is underwater.  It’s the end times.  We woke up this morning to cancelled flights and record weather.  We stuck around for Bama because obviously, but then we needed to high tail it to the airport in order to salvage our water-logged travel plans.  We have jobs that we need to get back to because they have no idea what we’ve been up to for the last few days.  My kids are hungry.

Let me attempt to summarize Head Coach M. Stoops’ remarks about the upcoming season, without having heard them.  There was something about looking forward to the season and a great bunch of guys.  Then an explanation of some things that happened last season that were beyond his control.  He definitely gave an impression of excitement while making sure to manage expectations.

Notkentucky

Not Kentucky at all.

His players were all fine upstanding gentlemen.  They politely fielded all sorts of questions.  What questions exactly?  Use this Mad-Lib-style template to create your own question that they were almost certainly asked!

(Bud/Jordan/Za’Darius), (tell me about/what are your thoughts on/how do you feel about) the ______(adjective) decision to (compensate players/redshirt you/Johnny Manziel) and do you ______(verb) _________(noun).

Using this template I created an actual question asked by Bob Holt:

"Za’Darius, what are your thoughts on the smelly decision to Johnny Manziel and do you lick cars?

In closing, Kentucky, we really are sorry we couldn’t stick around to provide the kind of hard-hitting sports journalism that our readers in Lexington have come to expect.  Really, we just needed to skip town before the Wynfrey Hotel realized that our GBH company check was written on the back of a bar of soap stolen from our room.

KEEP IT REAL SEC MEDIA DAYS.  SEE YOU NEXT YEAR AND DON’T GIVE US A FAKE ADDRESS BECAUSE WE’LL FIND YOU ANYWAY I MEAN ALABAMA FANS MANAGED TO DO IT.

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