ALL CAPS PREVIEW: WEEK 2

Thomas Campbell-USA TODAY Sports

IT'S THURSDAY, WHICH MEANS THAT THE WEEKEND IS HERE SO FOOTBALL IS NIGH WOO.

I got a little bit of flack last week for not being ALL caps. I'll be honest, it was hard for me to be all caps for Rice, which may have been a predictor for the way our defense played. Plus i think it's vitally important for us to save our voices (and our caps lock keys) for the BAMA GAME WHICH WILL DEFINITELY BE ALL CAPS MY GOD A LITTLE PEE JUST CAME OUT.

That being said, here are a few things to look forward to for this week from my excitable perspective. I don't intend to overlook SHSU with my song choice (because we all know from posting on message boards that if fans overlook a game then zomg the team will too), but the theme song for this game is in anticipation of next week and also one of my all time favorites: Patiently Waiting by 50 Cent.

Also, I'm not sure how, but this week's countdown is a little bit T.I. heavy. Forgive me.

13) I decided to add a 13 this week. Why? BECAUSE MIKE F'ING EVANS DESERVES HIS OWN SPOT AND IF YOU DONT LIKE IT HE WILL STIFF ARM YOUR FACE AND THEN EAT YOUR BONES. HE IS UNHUMAN. NEED PROOF? SEE BELOW

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12) 12TH MAN...remember that we're one game down which means out of the 12 we only have 11 left. I'm sad too. Enjoy every minute of it.

11) No offense intended (that's a lie) but Bearkats are dicks. Remember how dickish they were last year to us? DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT THEY MADE CMIKE DO?

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10) I give you #10 in honor of La'kendrick Williams. Remember at last year's SHSU game when Jameill Showers took over? DO YOU REMEMBER HIS FIRST PASS? FIRST DAMN PASS TO BEEP DAMN BEEP? FIRST DAMN PASS YO.

9) RSJ likely wont be playing but that doesn't mean we can't celebrate the fact that he caught his first TD (71 yard race to the end zone) last week in dramatic fashion. REST UP RICKY!! WE MISS YOU!! <3

8) I know it's a bit of a cop out, but i'm going to use the same #8 as last week. SOMEWHERE STEVEN JENKINS IS WATCHING FILM, GETTING MENTAL REPS, AND EATING LIVE FLESH THAT HE HIMSELF PULLED FROM THE BONES WITH THOSE FRIGHTENING ARMS.

7) This is in honor of Tramaine Jacobs. TRAMAINE I'M SORRY I LOST FAITH IN YOU AFTER OLE MISS LAST YEAR. PLEASE FORGIVE ME AND CONTINUE TO PLAY AS YOU DID LAST WEEK.

6) I AM RUNNING OUT OF THINGS TO BE EXCITED ABOUT SO FOR #6 I GIVE YOU A PICTURE OF SIX FROM BLOSSOM

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via img.photobucket.com

5) We finally get to see the man, the myth, THE LEGEND, in action. Brandon Williams will take the field. Need a reminder of what this guy can do? Watch his highlights from high school. Sweet lord him and Malena on the field at the SAME DAMN TIME. Worried about his foot injury? Just watch him c-walk and you'll feel better.

4) This has nothing to do with the number, but i think we should all give TAYLOR BERTOLEG A DAMN ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR BEING 7 FOR 7 ON PATS AND 1 FOR 1 ON FGS. YOU EAT GREEDY SON. AND YOUR HAIR LOOKS IMMACULATE.

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via assets.sbnation.com

3) In honor of Tommy Sanders, who I'm sure has done plenty of film study this week and realizes what he may or may not have done wrong. TOMMY I BELIEVE IN YOU. I SAW YOU OUTRUN JOHNNY WHEN YOU INTERCEPTED THAT LATERAL IN THE SCRIMMAGE. I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE CAPABLE OF. DONT LET RANGER222 MAKE YOU SAD.

2) Well this is obvious. JOHNNY F'ING FOOTBALL PLAYS THE ENTIRE DAMN GAME ON SATURDAY (4TH QUARTER PENDING). AGAINST A TEAM THAT ANGERED HIM LAST YEAR. DON'T MAKE HIM ANGRY. YOU WONT LIKE HIM WHEN HE'S ANGRY.

SERIOUSLY. WE GET TO SEE JOHNNY FOR A FULL GAME'S WORTH OF ACTION. REMEMBER THE LAST TIME WE SAW THAT? A;SLDFJKALS;DJF;LAKSJDF;LKAJALS;KDKJDF I CAN'T TAKE IT 4 QUARTERS (HOPEFULLY NOT THAT MUCH) OF RAW UNCUT JOHNNY.

1) KING'S BACK. BIG BEN MALENA LET US KNOW THAT REGARDLESS OF WHAT THE MEDIA SAYS, HE'S CASHIN OUT EVERY SINGLE DAMN GAME. THIS GAME WILL BE NO DIFFERENT. GO GET THAT PAPER.

The weekend is nigh. IT IS MOTHER F-ING (what is the profanity policy?) NIGH. IT'S TIME TO MAKE THE BEARKATS (WHAT'S A BEAR-KAT) BLEED.

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