THE DAY BEFORE BAMA. I wrote this in the comments of one of the Daily Bull's earlier this week, and I think it's worth repeating today.
Twas, the day before Bama, and all round' the web,
no Aggies were working, all production was dead.
The Corps were guarding Kyle Field with care,
Knowing Coach Sumlin soon would be there.
Ags came into work and went straight to the Net',
While visions of #CashinOut danced in their heads.
And I at my office, arose from my nap
I'd fell asleep listening to ESPN's crap.
When out on the Twitterz there arose such a clatter,
I sprang to my laptop to see what was the matter.
Off to GBH I flew like a flash,
Away from talk radio and speculative trash.
The three reveille moon had an alabaster glow
That gave luster to the TAILGATE and its authors we know.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature Saban, shorter than Mitch McDeere.
That little old devil, what an arrogant prick,
I knew in a moment it must be Coach Nick.
More rapid than eagles his Gumpers they came,
And they whistled, and shouted, and called us all names!
"Now A.J.! now, T.J! now, Mister Clinton Dix'n!
On, Cooper! On, C.J.! We need more hittin and blitzin!
To the top of the polls! We gon' win it all PAWLL!
Now smash away! Bash away! Run the football!!"
And then at that moment when all hope was lost,
appeared Johnny Football and his Heisman was glossed.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
I saw Coach Kevin Damn Sumlin arrive with his hounds.
He was dressed all in SWAG, from his head to his feet,
And his crew were all lathered, craving elephant meat.
With his bundle of RBs he was ready to attack,
And YESSIR it was glorious, the magic was back.
His eyes-how they twinkled! His smirking how merry!
He took no stupid questions, his glares they were scary!
He was sick off the waiting, and was ready for the show,
His confidence was showing, his team was ready to go.
A ebony whistle he held tight in his teeth,
And his visor it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and just a little belly,
I looked at Austin and laughed, the Longhorns were jelly!
With him was Johnny that crazy young elf,
who was an offseason sensation, in spite of himself!
With a wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Johnny let me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
he lit up the scoreboard, ignoring the haters and jerks.
He made gestures with his fingers after his TD throws
And out on the internet a clamor arose!
And when it was over and the refs blew the whistle,
Away ran Nick Saban, his jimmies were rustled!
And I heard Sumlin exclaim, ‘ere he walked out of sight,
"YESSIR lets have a ball! Head to Northgate tonight!"
I DON'T MISS YOU BIG 12 REFS. In case you missed it, TCU was on the wrong end of another epic screw job in Lubbock last night. Seriously, it might have been the worst ref jobbing I've ever seen. Also, there was a fox loose on the field. Lubbock is an evil place. I am convinced it is the nexus of hell and earth. I quote Cormac McCarthy's Blood Meridian:
I’d not go behind scripture but it may be that there has been sinners so notorious evil that the fires coughed em up again
It may well be so. And Lubbock is the crack in the earth where those sinners escape from hell. Good riddance.
MEANWHILE, WE ARE ROLLING. USA Today chimes in today, noting that the galvanizing effect of Sumlin and Manziel has created an atmosphere such that Texas A&M is "the best it's ever been". Sports on Earth's Michael Weinreb agrees as well noting that A&M is working the progressive edge of modern football. I can't disagree. No matter the outcome of tomorrow's contest, there has never been a better time to be an Aggie.
OH, YOU WANT MORE PROOF? A&M students pulled over 30,000 tickets for the game this week. The largest, loudest, and most dedicated student body in the nation will be on hand in force Saturday, and they will have great seats.
I can't verify it, but I have to believe that will be the largest student section ever to witness any sporting event on American soil. Ever.
So lets do it! I'm leaving for College Station after work today. Thousands of other Aggies are as well. It's the great pilgrimage. It will be the largest crowd in A&M history, count on that. It is definitely the biggest game in A&M history.
I find I'm so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it's the excitement only a sports fan can feel, a sports fan at the start of an epic contest whose conclusion is uncertain. I hope we can beat Bama. I hope to see Johnny score and raise his hands. I hope the crystal football is as clear as it has been in my dreams. I hope...