Double Bull 8.20.13

Troy Taormina-USA TODAY Sports

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OH! THEY (COUGH DR. NC COUGH) ASKED LUKE TO DO THIS LAST WEEK! I SEE HOW IT IS! WELL, I ALREADY WROTE THIS SO YOU CAN GET DOUBLE BULL TODAY!

So Dr. Camacho is out for a little bit and I was asked to step in today to provide you with your Daily Bull fix. I hope that I can live up to the standards set by my esteemed colleague.  Before we move on to our standard link-dump/water cooler conversation catalyst known as the Daily Bull, I'd like to talk about the offseason. This will be brief, I promise.

I really, really hate the offseason. You wonder why sports news outlets will shamelessly beat Johnny and other non-stories to death? It's because of the offseason. I have a solution to this - SPRING COLLEGE FOOTBALL. Give us a 7 week season starting right after March/April Madness. This idea is half-baked, help me hash it out in the comments?

I'm seriously copying this from yesterday because I enjoyed reading it so much. If you missed the Open Scrimmage this weekend, get your fix here, with OrionHjarvis' impressions from Saturday. Biggest thing to take away from it all is ONLY ELEVEN MORE DAYS UNTIL REAL FOOTBALL.

Aggies Boast #1 Foursquare Court in SEC: Now our athletes can play four square. Anytime. They. Want. I wonder who's the mayor of Aggie Four Square on FourSquare...

Hey. Ladies. Tech's Eyes Are Up Here. Our former offensive coordinator/number one cause of the humidity crisis facing sorority houses during football games is requesting that the focus of Tech's football marketing return to the team. Sorry, ladies of Lubbock. You'll just have to take lessons from Maggie on how to get his attention.

They Know How to Troll in Chicago. Damn, Dan McGrath. Just damn. This is some of the finest trolling I've seen on the topic of Johnny Football. And you're competing with the likes of ESPN, so that's saying something. First, the headline suggests that Mr. McGrath is going to take the standard contrarian approach to the NCAA. You know the one, right? It's my personal favorite: The school can make a ton of money, the NCAA can make a ton of money, why not the kid? It's great in the headline, he got me!

He then proceeds to kick Mr. Manziel in the nuts for 4 paragraphs. MCGRATH EVEN CAREFULLY CRAFTS A METAPHOR ABOUT LIL MCGRATH DRIVING A NICER, MORE POWERFUL CAR THAN HE SHOULD HAVE AT A YOUNG AGE! Seriously, it's beautiful. It's only after telling everyone how poorly Johnny's handled everything that he makes the argument he alluded to in the headline.

Oh, you left out the part where we all get pageviews off Johnny's name. Can't search for products? Search for articles, because that's just fine. Johnny Pageview, ladies and gentlemen. Excuse me while I bump this article's search rankings:

Johnny. Johnny Manziel. Johnny Football. Johnny Heisman. Heisman Trophy Winner. Heisman Trophy Winner 2012. Manziel Autograph. Manziel Arrest. Manziel Drake. Manziel Lebron James. Davy O'Brien Award. Davy O'Brien Award 2012.

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