Because this is what you do when there is no football being played...
If SEC Coaches said quotes from Duck Dynasty
Hugh Freeze on quarterback Bo Wallace's recent decision making:
"When you was born and God was handing out brains you thought he said trains..."
Nick Saban on the September 14th A&M match-up:
"There is a time to cook and a time to kill, this is the time to kill."
Steve Spurrier to J.Clowney during football games and post game bar celebrations
"For the love of humanity, HIT THAT!"
Mark Richt when asked by the media to describe this year's team:
"We got elves that are ten foot tall, and bulletproof."
James Franklin when asked by his players why he went cliff diving this offseason:
"Whatever fires your panties up"
Dan Mullen when asked if his team is ready for the season:
"It's time to pee on the fire and call in the dogs boys."
Bret Bielema giving womanly advice to his new offensive line:
"She may be an ugly woman but if she cooks squirrel and dumplins, that's the woman you go after."
Les Miles when questioned about his favorite non-grass pre-game meal:
"There ain't nothing finer than rich frogs legs taken off a fine golf course"
Hugh Freeze on his questionable recruitment of top notch talent:
"You need to be able to take a leak in your yard without someone saying, "Hey what's he doing!"
Will Muschamp day one of Florida opening camp:
"Boys I will hurt u physically and meta-physically"
Butch Jones on Tennessee's team this year:
"I gotta work with what I got, it's called improve-isavation"
Gary Pinkel telling his team how to envision this year's competitors:
"Whether you're talking about bees, dogs, or women, pain can come up on you quickly!"
Gus Malzahn to the media on this year's team:
"Do we look like beauty contestants to you?"
Mark Stoops on working for his brother Mike at Arizona:
"Having your brother as a boss is a lot like dating your cousin... it's a bit weird."
Kevin Sumlin when questioned about his abilities for this season:
"Are you kidding me? I'm straight up hunger games with a bow."
What DD quotes could you hear from an SEC coach?/