I am a child of the Southwest Conference. I was raised on RC Slocum, Tony Barone’s Hawaiian shirts, Carney’s Pub on Thursday nights, and Mount Aggie for snow skiing class. I lived on Sorority Row before there was a fraternity house on the street and chose to live in Treehouse Village apartments on Marion Pugh to be within walking distance of Olsen Field for Saturday double headers. I walked the stage at G. Rollie White when I graduated and shook President Bowen’s hand (Dr. Ray Bowen, not R. Bowen Loftin).
I am pre-Zone Club, pre-Maroon Out, pre-campus wide tailgating extravaganza. My version of the "Zone Club" was the horseshoe where opposing fans and Boy Scout Troops cooked in the sun on metal bleachers. When I took Aerobic Running for my KINE class, I ran the track around a Kyle Field that was still artificial turf and said TEXAS AGGIES in the endzones. My tailgating experience was a bucket of fried chicken and a 6 pack of beer in the back of my roommate’s parents’ Suburban in the Kyle Field parking lot. There was no official marooning out of anything and students wore pretty much whatever was semi-clean to football games.
We SB’s of the 90’s (that should be a new Bravo reality show) wore tshirts and jorts with braided belts and running shoes to football games. My first home game as a freshman in the fall of 1992 was against LSU in the 113 degree heat. The idea of wearing anything dressier than a Fish Camp ‘92 tshirt and a ponytail would have been foreign to me. Wearing makeup, my hair down, a strapless dress and cowboy boots to a football game? Ain’t nobody got time for that.
Now don’t get me wrong, I see those cute strapless dresses at Aggieland Outfitters and am proud that my Aggies are stepping up their gameday look to SEC status. I’ve evolved as much as our gameday atmosphere at Kyle Field has (the team entrance now has SMOKE!)
But, ladies, let’s lay some ground rules for wearing such an item:
• Your class year needs to be in the teens or later.
• You must not be in the same weight class as some of the Aggie football players.
• You must not be carrying a baby in your womb or on your hip. Toddler-toting moms need to pass on the gameday dress look.
• Two words – strapless bra. Supporting the home team is a priority – and I’m not talking about the Aggies.
• Wear sunscreen. The term "Maroon Out" doesn’t apply to your shoulders.
• If your cowboy boots or ass-jacker wedge heels are going to give you a blister, be ready to suffer in silence. No one wants to listen to you complain about your feet. There are missed field goals and botched extra points to complain about!
Finally, my last word of advice on gameday apparel: If you are a female Aggie considering wearing painted overalls like Yell Leader Ken, please step away from the Dickie’s. No girl looks attractive in denim coveralls with "GIG ‘EM" painted across her behind. Trust me – I’m here to help and that is NOT your best look. You can be red-ass without "OLD ARMY" painted across your ass.
See you at the tailgate!