...And What a Boy!

This week's Wildcard segment discusses the visceral reaction and subsequent dilemma experienced upon hearing a friend is about to have a son.

I consider myself a forward-thinking individual. That's way too haughty, actually. What I really consider myself to be is a person who stands on equal footing with all people walking this planet. That's why I'm a touch embarrassed about what I'm going to tell all of you today.

A very close friend and his wife are having their second child. Well, she is, he's just gonna watch I hope (he proofread this and will not watch. "There are things you can't unsee.") Anyway, I'm honored that their first, a whip-smart and hilarious girl, calls me Uncle Wes. When my friend found out that he and his wife were expecting their second, our friends started throwing names against the wall to see if they'd stick. The thing is, we threw out multiple names for both genders...but we all knew.

We all knew that no matter what we said, no matter how much we meant "We will love this child regardless of its gender," we were kinda rooting for a boy. Not that a daughter would have been anything less of a miracle as well. I think we mainly wanted to balance the equation in the household, but I'm sure it runs much deeper in our psyches than that. I'm going to keep telling myself that it's because of household algebra so I don't feel like a completely sexist dump truck full of dicks.

Well...the moment came. My friend called me up and reported that he was to have a male heir. That's when we had the most visceral exchange of raw masculine emotion that I've ever experienced outside of my first hunt, making the perfect brisket and watching "Magic Mike." No. Wait, not "Magic Mike." Playing football. Yes, that's it. Here's the conversation in a nutshell:

Friend: It's a boy.

Wes: RAHHHHHHHH

Friend: AHHHHHHHRRAAAHHHHHHHHHH

Wes: CATCH IN THE FRONT YARD!

Friend: BASEBALL GAMES! WITH MY SON! AND DAUGHTER!

Wes: GET SUMLIN ON THE PHONE HE HAS A NEW RECRUIT!

Friend: SWAGGER COPTER, MOTHERF***ER!

Wes: BARBEQUE ROAD TRIPS WITH YOUR SON! AND DAUGHTER!

Friend: LIFE IS AMAZING!

Wes: RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

This went on for a solid 7 minutes before we calmed down. While we honestly included his daughter in the conversation because she's equally important, there are just some things ingrained in our heads as being "father/son activities." What is it about the announcement of a masculine child that brings out such raw emotion and/or stupidity in us? It must be the fact that we're constantly remembering things from our childhood and wanting to relive them through the activities with a son, but I'm not sure. As a single, childless male I have no foundation for opinion-making here. Discuss in the comments why men instinctively root for a son even though any child would make them miraculously happy. Women, do you find yourself cheering for boys or girls during your own or a friend's pregnancy?

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